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[quote=Anonymous]Haven't read any comments, OP, just your original post, but we have always had our nanny take kids to the doctor and dentist unless it was something we needed to be at (that has included one orthodontist appointment so far but nothing at the dentist because it's just been regular cleanings, and we generally went to the annual appointments if it was a milestone check or something, but those stop around maybe age 4 when they get their last shots, I can't remember, it's been awhile).

There have definitely been school things that neither of us have attended and you know what - at the ones I have attended I have noticed that a lot of parents aren't there either, and often one parent in our friend group will ask someone to send pictures because they couldn't make it. We do make an effort to be at important things but seriously, there can be so many things at school that just don't need to be attended.

We used to have our nanny come in the morning and take our girls to school because their school was in a different direction from our offices and it was super inconvenient for us to drop them off so she'd also help get them ready. Depending on what time we got home in the evening she would also make them dinner because kids eat pretty early when they're younger. Now that they're at a different school and they take the bus we do the mornings, but we don't eat dinner together every night based on work and sports schedules.

What do I think a parent should be there for? I don't think there's a hard list that I could come up with. The first thing that came to me was that I liked having at least one parent put them to bed when they were younger but now (age 9) it doesn't matter as much, and even when they were little we had babysitters or our nanny if we traveled without them, so that wasn't something we did all the time. Otherwise, to me, it's just important that you generally be there for them to talk to and to spend meaningful time with them. I don't think there's a magic checklist or anything, and I wouldn't let anyone convince you otherwise. I'm sure you and your spouse are doing great![/quote]

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