Reply to Ex DH is a Christian who ended our marriage due to adultery

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[quote=Anonymous]I’m sorry, op. My view on God is more individualistic in that He is why good things happen, even if it is the middle of something bad, best example I can think of is a miscarriage I had, the miscarriage sucked, but it was over quickly, the hospital staff was nice to me, and well, it could have been a lot worse. 
I s
Ay this because all people have free will.  All God can really do is help you, not your marriage, and especially not if your husband wants to not be part of it anymore.  I’m sorry.

If it helps, your husband sounds like a predator. My guess if this friend had been a man, he’d have had very little interest.

Had it been me, I’d have told him I wanted a divorce when he started going on and on about how rough she’s had it. No way would I sit there and listen to him go on about another woman. My guess is he wasn’t very nice to you during that time either, if you don’t like something, even if he doesn’t understand why, well, you have it so good compared to this friend. Why would you want to be married to that?

As for now, the church can’t stop your husband from going there or bringing his girlfriend. That’s why I keep a healthy distance from church, I know it won’t have my back, the only people who will care for my marriage is my husband and me, and if one of us won’t, the marriage is over and the church doesn’t have the power or desire to do a thing about it beyond saying “yay, you guys are married” and “so sad about the divorce”. That’s just how it is and I am sorry that you bought into their product which is selling the idea they can do more then they can.  
I’d move on, op. If you like church (and we go every Sunday) do that, just realize what church can and can’t do, and the answer is not very much. I mostly go for the routine, I like sitting with my husband, I like seeing the same group of people and my kids like it. No way do I expect the church to care about my marriage, my husband’s job, our financial health so long as they get their money, meaning we only give what we feel comfortable giving, or anything really. They may care about my kids, but even then I’m not sure they care about them as human beings or as potential sources of money. Church is after all, a business and if I view it as such, I’m fine.

As for your kids, they’ll figure it out. If you want to tell them their father cheated, that’s up to you. They probably already know or suspect. If it helps, your ex is probably also looking for another prey. Be glad you are no longer tied to him legally, he’s your kids’ father but that’s as far as it goes. He isn’t yours to worry about and that should comfort you.   
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