Reply to Ex DH is a Christian who ended our marriage due to adultery

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]This is very true: "Basically he 's just another horny male trying to make excuses for the powerful sex-drive God gave us. I don't get why organized religion doesn't see this. It's the cause of so many problems with the churches these days."

When he left me for her, he didn't say he wanted to build a life with her or share his life with her. He didn't want to marry her or become a stepdad to her children. He just wants to...date her. That's it. He left behind a covenant marriage and the stability we built for our children so he could have sex with another woman and go to concerts and shows. This was all wrapped up in a massive midlife crisis where he was also now obsessed with music and concerts. Not in raising his children, emotionally connecting with his wife, staying committed to his faith. Nope. He discarded all of us due to a raging midlife crisis, focused on music and concerts, and the allure of a new sex partner.  I know I should forgive him and you are absolutely right, forgiveness is a basic tenent of our faith. What hurts is the loss, and the cost of the decisions he's made. [/quote]

My dear, first, I'm very sorry for the pain you're experiencing.

Look.  Whenever something like this happens, we begin to waste mental energy on the effort to "understand" the other person's actions and thoughts, as if that would help at all.  You need to make peace with not understanding and with taking his actions and words at face value. He doesn't want to be married to you.  OK.  He wants to date her.  OK.  That's what he wants. Why? Who knows.  That's not important.  Accept what he says and stop looking for an explanation.

The best thing you can do is distract yourself with other things.  And it wouldn't hurt to bring a handsome new guy to church one day.[/quote]

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