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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]If I had waited until my student loans were paid off to buy a house I would have missed out on most of the appreciation that allowed me to buy a bigger, nicer house.  I don't think that's necessary.

That said, you just need to figure out how much you can comfortably spend on PITI and go from there.  Your current rent is probably a good starting point, maybe you can go a little higher since you have been able to save a lot.[/quote]

It really depends upon how much your student loans were relative to your income.  OP has had 2-3 years of student loan deferral without interest. Yet no mention of having saved thousands towards paying them during that time.  Instead OP leased/bought a new car with a ridiculously high monthly payment---I bought a new vehicle during the pandemic and you could still get a camry/accord/Rav4/CRV for under $35K---no need to spend $50K+ for a family of 4.  
OP has a spending problem. So adding to that a mortgage payment is not smart.  
Yes, you miss out on appreciation. If they want that, they should buy a small townhouse/condothat is affordable for them.  But in reality, it is not smart to adda mortgage at high interest rates when you still owe so much for a car and school.  They can pay off the loans in 3 years if their expenses are really only $4k/month.  But that won't happen without a budget---they should have saved towards the loans in the last 3 years, but no mention of that happening.  Much better to rent a 2 bedroom place where they can easily afford it, save save save save save to pay everything off and then find a place to buy they can actually afford.

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