Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:When we had student loans from DH's law degree we bought a cheap townhouse in a gentrifying area, and we didn't have any car or consumer loans. We drove an old sedan until the student debt was paid off.

750k is insane. Look for a condo or townhouse where your PITI costs are as close to rent as possible.

This. I cannot believe they have $50k (!!!) in car loans with that debt. I wouldn’t even do that with zero debt. The problem here is they rushed to have the kids and her DH doesn’t work. If they had waited a couple years to have kids after law school they could have eliminated the debt and saved some money before adding in kids. OP should absolutely rent something as cheap as possible until she gets those loans under control and for the love of God don’t have any more kids so DH can work the second the youngest hits school.

+1

Something has to give. If you want to have kids immediately after law school, then you will have to live very frugally while you pay off the $300K in loans. I agree, that waiting 2-3 years to have kids while you intensively pay off loans is a much better idea--you can live in a 1 bedroom and progress even faster that way! Both of them could have worked during those 2 -3 years and paid off those loans, had enough to pay cash for a new car and still have a good chunk saved for a home downpayment.
But when you choose to take $300K in student loans, yeah you might not be able to buy a home right away. Because you already have the equivalent of a home loan with your student loans.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:When we had student loans from DH's law degree we bought a cheap townhouse in a gentrifying area, and we didn't have any car or consumer loans. We drove an old sedan until the student debt was paid off.

750k is insane. Look for a condo or townhouse where your PITI costs are as close to rent as possible.

Agree that trying to reduce expenses with that much in loans is really important. $722 for a car lease sounds high, but I don't know when OP and her husband got their lease and if interest rates were already high. It would be a shame if they were driving around in a BMW and not paying off loans/funding retirement/funding 529s.

Op here: it’s not a bmw, it’s a Toyota and we bought in 2021 because our 14 year old Camry ran into the ground.

WTH?!?! why are you paying $722/month on a Toyota. You have a family of 4. Another Camry would work just fine or a Rav4. You do not need/cannot afford a Highlander or more expensive at this point. And why lease? Buy a $35K vehicle and pay it off in 3 years then drive it into the ground for the next 10. You can't really afford to live the fancy life until you pay off your student loans. Do that and you will be financially sound.

Op here: you obviously aren’t in the car market at all. And I never said it’s a lease…I bought a Toyota Avalon car for $40k when the market was crazy because I needed a car and my 14 yr old Camry died.

But, clearly you couldn't afford a $40K car. Where is all your money going if you aren't paying off your loans/debt? How much is your rent.

You need to buy a cheap crummy house like the rest of us and focus on paying off that debt, regular savings and college savings.

+1 OP you need to answer some of the reasonable questions if you want advice. Post a real budget. Is your SAHP planning to return to work, and what will that look like (timeline, potential income)? How much longer on the car loan, how much longer until the youngest can be in free school (PK3 in DC, K in the burbs)? What will your student loan payments be when they resume, what are your interest rates?

You're only responding to the comments you can smack down but you're ignoring the people that need more information to answer your question. At first it felt somewhat reasonable (how many people can ask "how can a lady be a lawyer?" before you type an angry reply) but now it feels trollish.

Op here: 3 years left on the car loan. Car loan interest rate is 3%. Student loan interest rate is 6%. DH is a real estate agent so he only make money if he has a deal. He will be grinding more when our baby goes to Kindergarten in 4 years. I don’t rely on his income and don’t plan my life around it because it’s commission based and hard to determine some years it’s $40k some years it’s $100k the highest ever was $130k.

Here is a budget breakdown:
-$722 car note
-2800 rent
-$300 utilities
- $115 Verizon internet
$200 cellphones
- $280 car insurance
$900 health insurance.

I'm not one of the people piling on, but this isn't a complete picture. How much do you spend on food? How much on going out? How much on clothes and household stuff? Where is the rest of the money going every month, if not to housing or student loans?

If it's going to stuff you can easily cut then you're probably in good shape, right? Just stop paying for that other stuff, and use that $ for your house. If it's helping keep two sets of parents from becoming homeless, then probably not.

Is the SAHP capable of getting a job that is more than the cost of childcare?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:When we had student loans from DH's law degree we bought a cheap townhouse in a gentrifying area, and we didn't have any car or consumer loans. We drove an old sedan until the student debt was paid off.

750k is insane. Look for a condo or townhouse where your PITI costs are as close to rent as possible.

Agree that trying to reduce expenses with that much in loans is really important. $722 for a car lease sounds high, but I don't know when OP and her husband got their lease and if interest rates were already high. It would be a shame if they were driving around in a BMW and not paying off loans/funding retirement/funding 529s.

Op here: it’s not a bmw, it’s a Toyota and we bought in 2021 because our 14 year old Camry ran into the ground.

WTH?!?! why are you paying $722/month on a Toyota. You have a family of 4. Another Camry would work just fine or a Rav4. You do not need/cannot afford a Highlander or more expensive at this point. And why lease? Buy a $35K vehicle and pay it off in 3 years then drive it into the ground for the next 10. You can't really afford to live the fancy life until you pay off your student loans. Do that and you will be financially sound.

Op here: you obviously aren’t in the car market at all. And I never said it’s a lease…I bought a Toyota Avalon car for $40k when the market was crazy because I needed a car and my 14 yr old Camry died.

But, clearly you couldn't afford a $40K car. Where is all your money going if you aren't paying off your loans/debt? How much is your rent.

You need to buy a cheap crummy house like the rest of us and focus on paying off that debt, regular savings and college savings.

+1 OP you need to answer some of the reasonable questions if you want advice. Post a real budget. Is your SAHP planning to return to work, and what will that look like (timeline, potential income)? How much longer on the car loan, how much longer until the youngest can be in free school (PK3 in DC, K in the burbs)? What will your student loan payments be when they resume, what are your interest rates?

You're only responding to the comments you can smack down but you're ignoring the people that need more information to answer your question. At first it felt somewhat reasonable (how many people can ask "how can a lady be a lawyer?" before you type an angry reply) but now it feels trollish.

Op here: 3 years left on the car loan. Car loan interest rate is 3%. Student loan interest rate is 6%. DH is a real estate agent so he only make money if he has a deal. He will be grinding more when our baby goes to Kindergarten in 4 years. I don’t rely on his income and don’t plan my life around it because it’s commission based and hard to determine some years it’s $40k some years it’s $100k the highest ever was $130k.

Here is a budget breakdown:
-$722 car note
-2800 rent
-$300 utilities
- $115 Verizon internet
$200 cellphones
- $280 car insurance
$900 health insurance.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:When we had student loans from DH's law degree we bought a cheap townhouse in a gentrifying area, and we didn't have any car or consumer loans. We drove an old sedan until the student debt was paid off.

750k is insane. Look for a condo or townhouse where your PITI costs are as close to rent as possible.

Agree that trying to reduce expenses with that much in loans is really important. $722 for a car lease sounds high, but I don't know when OP and her husband got their lease and if interest rates were already high. It would be a shame if they were driving around in a BMW and not paying off loans/funding retirement/funding 529s.

Op here: it’s not a bmw, it’s a Toyota and we bought in 2021 because our 14 year old Camry ran into the ground.

WTH?!?! why are you paying $722/month on a Toyota. You have a family of 4. Another Camry would work just fine or a Rav4. You do not need/cannot afford a Highlander or more expensive at this point. And why lease? Buy a $35K vehicle and pay it off in 3 years then drive it into the ground for the next 10. You can't really afford to live the fancy life until you pay off your student loans. Do that and you will be financially sound.

Op here: you obviously aren’t in the car market at all. And I never said it’s a lease…I bought a Toyota Avalon car for $40k when the market was crazy because I needed a car and my 14 yr old Camry died.

But, clearly you couldn't afford a $40K car. Where is all your money going if you aren't paying off your loans/debt? How much is your rent.

You need to buy a cheap crummy house like the rest of us and focus on paying off that debt, regular savings and college savings.

Op here: my rent is $2,800. Utilities are $300. All monthly expenses are $4k

I call BS.

2800+300+722 is $3822. That leaves you a grand total of $178 for everything else. Renter insurance, medical care, gas for the $722/month Avalon, food, etc. So I've found you one solution---ditch the car, because you certainly cannot afford to drive it without insurance or any gas to put in it.

So if you are not a troll, tell us your real monthly expenses. It's way higher than $4k. A true budget has all expenses. You are nowhere close to even knowing that.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:When we had student loans from DH's law degree we bought a cheap townhouse in a gentrifying area, and we didn't have any car or consumer loans. We drove an old sedan until the student debt was paid off.

750k is insane. Look for a condo or townhouse where your PITI costs are as close to rent as possible.

Agree that trying to reduce expenses with that much in loans is really important. $722 for a car lease sounds high, but I don't know when OP and her husband got their lease and if interest rates were already high. It would be a shame if they were driving around in a BMW and not paying off loans/funding retirement/funding 529s.

Op here: it’s not a bmw, it’s a Toyota and we bought in 2021 because our 14 year old Camry ran into the ground.

WTH?!?! why are you paying $722/month on a Toyota. You have a family of 4. Another Camry would work just fine or a Rav4. You do not need/cannot afford a Highlander or more expensive at this point. And why lease? Buy a $35K vehicle and pay it off in 3 years then drive it into the ground for the next 10. You can't really afford to live the fancy life until you pay off your student loans. Do that and you will be financially sound.

Op here: you obviously aren’t in the car market at all. And I never said it’s a lease…I bought a Toyota Avalon car for $40k when the market was crazy because I needed a car and my 14 yr old Camry died.

But, clearly you couldn't afford a $40K car. Where is all your money going if you aren't paying off your loans/debt? How much is your rent.

You need to buy a cheap crummy house like the rest of us and focus on paying off that debt, regular savings and college savings.

Except moving is also expensive - and there may be a value to buying a place you can actually stay in for a long time.

OP - only you know how much of your $ can be put toward a house, and how comfortable you are with risk and debt.

But the place OP can currently afford to buy is definately NOT going to be the place she wants to live in "for a long time". So in that case, she might be happier and would be better off just renting and going gazelle intense on paying off the student loans. Jumping into the housing market to "capture appreciation" is all fine and good if you can afford it, but at this point, she really cannot. And certainly not in a home she will actually want to live in/own long term

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:When we had student loans from DH's law degree we bought a cheap townhouse in a gentrifying area, and we didn't have any car or consumer loans. We drove an old sedan until the student debt was paid off.

750k is insane. Look for a condo or townhouse where your PITI costs are as close to rent as possible.

Agree that trying to reduce expenses with that much in loans is really important. $722 for a car lease sounds high, but I don't know when OP and her husband got their lease and if interest rates were already high. It would be a shame if they were driving around in a BMW and not paying off loans/funding retirement/funding 529s.

Op here: it’s not a bmw, it’s a Toyota and we bought in 2021 because our 14 year old Camry ran into the ground.

WTH?!?! why are you paying $722/month on a Toyota. You have a family of 4. Another Camry would work just fine or a Rav4. You do not need/cannot afford a Highlander or more expensive at this point. And why lease? Buy a $35K vehicle and pay it off in 3 years then drive it into the ground for the next 10. You can't really afford to live the fancy life until you pay off your student loans. Do that and you will be financially sound.

Op here: you obviously aren’t in the car market at all. And I never said it’s a lease…I bought a Toyota Avalon car for $40k when the market was crazy because I needed a car and my 14 yr old Camry died.

But, clearly you couldn't afford a $40K car. Where is all your money going if you aren't paying off your loans/debt? How much is your rent.

You need to buy a cheap crummy house like the rest of us and focus on paying off that debt, regular savings and college savings.

+1000

There are cars to be had that can fit 4 people for $25-30K. Where are your money in savings from not paying the student loans for 2-3 years? I get that you needed a car and yes, I've bought one in the last 3 years so understand the challenges. New is actually better now than used since no discount for used. But buy a new car that is cheaper---like responsible people do who have tons of debt and can't afford more.

At your income, you should have saved at least $100K+ each of the last 3 years without student loan payments and "fixed expenses of only $4k/month". If you did that, you could pay your loans off or the car loan and most of your student loans. Instead it seems you are blowing thru the money on other things. So in reality, now is not the time to purchase a home---you need to get your finances in better shape before you do that.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:When we had student loans from DH's law degree we bought a cheap townhouse in a gentrifying area, and we didn't have any car or consumer loans. We drove an old sedan until the student debt was paid off.

750k is insane. Look for a condo or townhouse where your PITI costs are as close to rent as possible.

Agree that trying to reduce expenses with that much in loans is really important. $722 for a car lease sounds high, but I don't know when OP and her husband got their lease and if interest rates were already high. It would be a shame if they were driving around in a BMW and not paying off loans/funding retirement/funding 529s.

Op here: it’s not a bmw, it’s a Toyota and we bought in 2021 because our 14 year old Camry ran into the ground.

WTH?!?! why are you paying $722/month on a Toyota. You have a family of 4. Another Camry would work just fine or a Rav4. You do not need/cannot afford a Highlander or more expensive at this point. And why lease? Buy a $35K vehicle and pay it off in 3 years then drive it into the ground for the next 10. You can't really afford to live the fancy life until you pay off your student loans. Do that and you will be financially sound.

Op here: you obviously aren’t in the car market at all. And I never said it’s a lease…I bought a Toyota Avalon car for $40k when the market was crazy because I needed a car and my 14 yr old Camry died.

But, clearly you couldn't afford a $40K car. Where is all your money going if you aren't paying off your loans/debt? How much is your rent.

You need to buy a cheap crummy house like the rest of us and focus on paying off that debt, regular savings and college savings.

Op here: my rent is $2,800. Utilities are $300. All monthly expenses are $4k

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:When we had student loans from DH's law degree we bought a cheap townhouse in a gentrifying area, and we didn't have any car or consumer loans. We drove an old sedan until the student debt was paid off.

750k is insane. Look for a condo or townhouse where your PITI costs are as close to rent as possible.

Agree that trying to reduce expenses with that much in loans is really important. $722 for a car lease sounds high, but I don't know when OP and her husband got their lease and if interest rates were already high. It would be a shame if they were driving around in a BMW and not paying off loans/funding retirement/funding 529s.

Op here: it’s not a bmw, it’s a Toyota and we bought in 2021 because our 14 year old Camry ran into the ground.

WTH?!?! why are you paying $722/month on a Toyota. You have a family of 4. Another Camry would work just fine or a Rav4. You do not need/cannot afford a Highlander or more expensive at this point. And why lease? Buy a $35K vehicle and pay it off in 3 years then drive it into the ground for the next 10. You can't really afford to live the fancy life until you pay off your student loans. Do that and you will be financially sound.

Op here: you obviously aren’t in the car market at all. And I never said it’s a lease…I bought a Toyota Avalon car for $40k when the market was crazy because I needed a car and my 14 yr old Camry died.

But, clearly you couldn't afford a $40K car. Where is all your money going if you aren't paying off your loans/debt? How much is your rent.

You need to buy a cheap crummy house like the rest of us and focus on paying off that debt, regular savings and college savings.

+1 OP you need to answer some of the reasonable questions if you want advice. Post a real budget. Is your SAHP planning to return to work, and what will that look like (timeline, potential income)? How much longer on the car loan, how much longer until the youngest can be in free school (PK3 in DC, K in the burbs)? What will your student loan payments be when they resume, what are your interest rates?

You're only responding to the comments you can smack down but you're ignoring the people that need more information to answer your question. At first it felt somewhat reasonable (how many people can ask "how can a lady be a lawyer?" before you type an angry reply) but now it feels trollish.

Anonymous wrote:If I had waited until my student loans were paid off to buy a house I would have missed out on most of the appreciation that allowed me to buy a bigger, nicer house. I don't think that's necessary.

That said, you just need to figure out how much you can comfortably spend on PITI and go from there. Your current rent is probably a good starting point, maybe you can go a little higher since you have been able to save a lot.

It really depends upon how much your student loans were relative to your income. OP has had 2-3 years of student loan deferral without interest. Yet no mention of having saved thousands towards paying them during that time. Instead OP leased/bought a new car with a ridiculously high monthly payment---I bought a new vehicle during the pandemic and you could still get a camry/accord/Rav4/CRV for under $35K---no need to spend $50K+ for a family of 4.
OP has a spending problem. So adding to that a mortgage payment is not smart.
Yes, you miss out on appreciation. If they want that, they should buy a small townhouse/condothat is affordable for them. But in reality, it is not smart to adda mortgage at high interest rates when you still owe so much for a car and school. They can pay off the loans in 3 years if their expenses are really only $4k/month. But that won't happen without a budget---they should have saved towards the loans in the last 3 years, but no mention of that happening. Much better to rent a 2 bedroom place where they can easily afford it, save save save save save to pay everything off and then find a place to buy they can actually afford.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:When we had student loans from DH's law degree we bought a cheap townhouse in a gentrifying area, and we didn't have any car or consumer loans. We drove an old sedan until the student debt was paid off.

750k is insane. Look for a condo or townhouse where your PITI costs are as close to rent as possible.

Agree that trying to reduce expenses with that much in loans is really important. $722 for a car lease sounds high, but I don't know when OP and her husband got their lease and if interest rates were already high. It would be a shame if they were driving around in a BMW and not paying off loans/funding retirement/funding 529s.

Op here: it’s not a bmw, it’s a Toyota and we bought in 2021 because our 14 year old Camry ran into the ground.

WTH?!?! why are you paying $722/month on a Toyota. You have a family of 4. Another Camry would work just fine or a Rav4. You do not need/cannot afford a Highlander or more expensive at this point. And why lease? Buy a $35K vehicle and pay it off in 3 years then drive it into the ground for the next 10. You can't really afford to live the fancy life until you pay off your student loans. Do that and you will be financially sound.

Op here: you obviously aren’t in the car market at all. And I never said it’s a lease…I bought a Toyota Avalon car for $40k when the market was crazy because I needed a car and my 14 yr old Camry died.

But, clearly you couldn't afford a $40K car. Where is all your money going if you aren't paying off your loans/debt? How much is your rent.

You need to buy a cheap crummy house like the rest of us and focus on paying off that debt, regular savings and college savings.

Except moving is also expensive - and there may be a value to buying a place you can actually stay in for a long time.

OP - only you know how much of your $ can be put toward a house, and how comfortable you are with risk and debt.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:When we had student loans from DH's law degree we bought a cheap townhouse in a gentrifying area, and we didn't have any car or consumer loans. We drove an old sedan until the student debt was paid off.

750k is insane. Look for a condo or townhouse where your PITI costs are as close to rent as possible.

Agree that trying to reduce expenses with that much in loans is really important. $722 for a car lease sounds high, but I don't know when OP and her husband got their lease and if interest rates were already high. It would be a shame if they were driving around in a BMW and not paying off loans/funding retirement/funding 529s.

Op here: it’s not a bmw, it’s a Toyota and we bought in 2021 because our 14 year old Camry ran into the ground.

WTH?!?! why are you paying $722/month on a Toyota. You have a family of 4. Another Camry would work just fine or a Rav4. You do not need/cannot afford a Highlander or more expensive at this point. And why lease? Buy a $35K vehicle and pay it off in 3 years then drive it into the ground for the next 10. You can't really afford to live the fancy life until you pay off your student loans. Do that and you will be financially sound.

Op here: you obviously aren’t in the car market at all. And I never said it’s a lease…I bought a Toyota Avalon car for $40k when the market was crazy because I needed a car and my 14 yr old Camry died.

But, clearly you couldn't afford a $40K car. Where is all your money going if you aren't paying off your loans/debt? How much is your rent.

You need to buy a cheap crummy house like the rest of us and focus on paying off that debt, regular savings and college savings.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:When we had student loans from DH's law degree we bought a cheap townhouse in a gentrifying area, and we didn't have any car or consumer loans. We drove an old sedan until the student debt was paid off.

750k is insane. Look for a condo or townhouse where your PITI costs are as close to rent as possible.

Agree that trying to reduce expenses with that much in loans is really important. $722 for a car lease sounds high, but I don't know when OP and her husband got their lease and if interest rates were already high. It would be a shame if they were driving around in a BMW and not paying off loans/funding retirement/funding 529s.

Op here: it’s not a bmw, it’s a Toyota and we bought in 2021 because our 14 year old Camry ran into the ground.

WTH?!?! why are you paying $722/month on a Toyota. You have a family of 4. Another Camry would work just fine or a Rav4. You do not need/cannot afford a Highlander or more expensive at this point. And why lease? Buy a $35K vehicle and pay it off in 3 years then drive it into the ground for the next 10. You can't really afford to live the fancy life until you pay off your student loans. Do that and you will be financially sound.

Op here: you obviously aren’t in the car market at all. And I never said it’s a lease…I bought a Toyota Avalon car for $40k when the market was crazy because I needed a car and my 14 yr old Camry died.

Anonymous wrote:I second the recommendation for YNAB. You can start with a free it 30 day trial and see if you like it.

Agree. YNAB or Mint or Monarch Money, pick one of those tools and get a handle on your money.

Buy a small townhouse somewhere, like Fairlington, and focus on paying down your debt. Do not take out a $750k mortgage. That would be insane.

I second the recommendation for YNAB. You can start with a free 30 day trial and see if you like it.