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[quote=Anonymous]No, I would not give her that amount. That is a LOT of money. With my relatives, I’ve been willing to help out when I know they have done all they can to reasonably reduce costs and are willing to cede some control. And everyone giving money should be on the same page if possible. No way I would take money away from my kid’s college fund or my retirement (or heck, even my vacation fund) to pay for MIL’s overpriced condo.

Having seen these scenarios play out in very different ways has been instructive. One relative was extremely thoughtful about minimizing costs in coordination with everyone she knew would be supporting her eventually, and we all gladly pitched in to help her when the time came. Fortunately there were many people to share the burden, but if it was just me, I would have sacrificed for them.

Other relative is nasty and demanding, refuses to take steps to reduce costs, and is known to spend and loose big chunks of money on scams (fake stem cell treatments, timeshares) and seems incapable of learning any lessons. That relative I give zero to and feel fine about it. [/quote]

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