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[quote=Anonymous]
From two different PPs above:

[i]"From what he told me, his marriage was less catastrophic than mine but I still believe it was bad."

"It became obvious over time that he was missing something. He loved to talk with me and I don’t see how someone in a great marriage would be down for talking to a random woman ad nauseam."[/i]

I hope both of them can step back and see how hard they rationalized their dealings with married men who were looking to cheat on wives. Neither of these PPs can possibly truly know if those marriages were "bad" -- they were believing things told to them by men who may indeed have wanted affection and attention but whose end goal included sex at some point.

Interestingly, both those posts get very vague when it comes to the endings, and don't say outright, "We were full-on APs who had sex." I think one of those PPs indicates it was all sexting but it's not truly clear. Even if neither of them ever slept with these men, the way they're trying to justify or explain how they got sucked in is sad, especially since they're still doing it right now, today. "The marriage must be bad/sexless/she's not a bad person but won't go to counseling with him" stuff may all be true--but that doesn't justify your coming into that relationship even if it's only to be his sounding board and let him vent. And yes, despite the usual DCUM "it's only sex, nothing to do with the marriage itself" posters, an AP, or even "just" a sexting partner, is inserting herself or himself into the married person's relationship, even if the spouse never finds out.

Just be honest with yourselves and see that your belief that "he was missing something" and "I believe it was bad" is based 100 percent on what was told you by an unreliable narrator with an agenda to get something from you. [/quote]

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