Reply to Negative impact of therapy and "therapy speak"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]

Agree. The problem is that there ARE actually people for whom "therapy speak" is actually functional, valuable information that helps them to overcome trauma and dysfunction.

I am uncomfortable with the attitude on this thread (and also often on DCUM generally) that everyone who talks about trauma or stuff like setting boundaries, being gaslit, etc., is simply being selfish and dramatic and using these terms to mistreat others. This does happen, but also, some people are actually overcoming abuse and severe dysfunction and genuinely need these things to help them through it.

Dismissing everyone because SOME people misuse and abuse these terms is not great because it's unlikely to dissuade the peopel using these terms for selfish reasons, and can really harm people who are actually trying to heal and become more functional.[/quote]

Narcissists feel rage and frustration when they are cut off. The Internet attracts these angry people as an outlet for their frustration. Normal people naturally respect others and listen to them. The ones screaming about people being selfish for having boundaries, blaming therapists for their estrangements and gaslighting are narcissists.[/quote]

I wouldn't go that far (I think the term narcissist gets thrown around a lot when I think sometimes what is meant is people who lack emotional intelligence or regulation, or people trapped in dysfunctional relationship patterns), but I do think people often simply do not understand why they are being cut off and lack the introspection to understand their own role in it. And the simple truth is that if you have a functional, healthy relationship with your child, they aren't going to cut you off. Because in that case, you'll have established healthy dynamics for resolving conflict and your child would be well versed in them.

This idea that functional, healthy parent-child relationships are often broken or destroyed by interloping therapists or only therapy speak is something that makes peopel feel better about getting to this point with their children. But why was their child in therapy? Why were they looking online for information about stuff like boundaries and narcissism? And after they came to you with this information they gleaned from therapy or reading, were you receptive and interested in addressing whatever issue they had, or were you resistant, dismissive, and defensive? Because the latter is a form of dysfunction.

People don't want to look at themselves, don't want to examine their own role in this dysfunction. It's so easy for parents to blame children because when they are young, children are easy scapegoats (he won't listen, she's so stubborn, etc.). Well when you do that to an adult, they might just choose to walk away.[/quote]

+1,00-,000[/quote]

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