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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP here- just want to clarify a couple of things.

MIL’s care for the last 2 years was that she required rides to weekly dialysis and dr appointments. She was independently driving until the last 6 months. SIL/BIL moved in 10 years ago to be closer to their now 30yo daughter (who wants car). In that time SIL has had a variety of retail jobs and was working on degree. She has been working full-time for the last year. So while she hasn’t been full-time caregiver, we do think there is a burden of being the go to person for emergencies this whole time and that was why DH wanted to support her in keeping house.

Grandchild who wants the car is 30 and she and her husband already have 2 cars. I have no idea what is going on there. I agree it should be sold and if possible split proceeds with other grandchild it was left to (who is 16 and has just gotten license).

Still not sleeping.[/quote]

You and your DH are right in recognizing that there is a burden in being the go-to person for emergencies. My brother was in that role as he was the only sibling living in our home town who was able to do so (our other sibling was developmentally disabled and not able to handle these needs). While I handled the bulk of parent paper work as well as handling the sales of the home and property, etc., I could largely schedule that on my time while he would have to leave work whenever he got a call. He generally didn't complain, but he did once quip that he finally understood why his younger sisters had left town. [/quote]

DP, yes, fair to recognize that it is some work to be the go to person, but this person has already had about 10 years of rent free living. That’s seems like pretty good recompense for helping out for less than two years. It seems that Mom took care of compensating sister before her death. 
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