Reply to Urging child to invite family friend

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]How upset will your friend be if her kid isn’t invited? And is it worth that?[/quote]

I think my friend’s feelings will definitely be hurt but I don’t think she will be mad at me. I did not want to make it about special needs but the child has mild special needs. I think that is the main reason why our kids were never close. I am not sure how much this has to do with the special needs or cool factor or looks.

I want my child to be kind and inclusive. My child does hang out with the popular kids at school and some of those kids are definitely not kind.[/quote]

And bit by bit, this is how the SN kids get left behind.

OP, be true to your friend. If it's a huge venue, kid+mom might have a nice time.     The birthday invites will slow to a trickle.    IMO, this will alter your friendship if you pass for no really good reason, other than the exclusionary crowd telling you to do so.  [/quote]

It would have helped if the OP hadn’t buried this information about her friend’s child having SN.  Frankly, it’s fine to make it at least somewhat about SN because this PP is right, they do get left behind - unfairly, painfully so.  Model inclusivity for your kid and next time, OP, state the relevant issues in your FIRST post, not five pages in.[/quote]

She added it alter because she didn’t get the responses she wanted. It’s likely not true or the post would have been about her kid not having empathy. [/quote]

OP should never had asked her child and just invited the kid. Instead, OP gave her child a choice, her child set the list, OP suggested to her kid that they include the friends kid, kid said no. OP came here to find people who said it was ok to invite the kid.

OP started with a basic scenario. Then OP started adding on explinations. The friends kid wasn’t cool, then was a bit over weight, then was like a cousin, then was SN. OP was fishing for reasons why it should be ok to invite the kid after letting her kid set the guest list.

OP can just invite the kid, that is obvious, but doesn’t mean she handled this at all well or in a way that is going to make her child except that a kid is going to be at the birthday party that their kid didn’t invite. And it does set it up that the friends kid is going to be excluded during the party because the OPs kid doesn’t want the kid there.

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