Reply to How did your sibling being a "dud" impact your relationship with him/her, and with your parents

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[quote=Anonymous]I had to disengage with mine. Otherwise the sense of lack of fairness to have someone's life bankrolled because they are lazy to work is too frustrating. The moochers- I get it- life is easy. But the parents who get enmeshed and don't create a healthy boundary- I don't get.

I realized I was angry at my parents years ago. When I tried to encourage them to create goals/timelines with siblings, (eg, pay rent- even $50 a month, donate time to charities if they are too good to work for 'the man' etc) they agreed they were good ideas but would NOT do them, I gave up. In my parents mind, because there was no mental illness/crime/drug/alcohol history with siblings so it was somehow not serious.

Especially when I'd complain about an adult in their 30s/40s living rent free... and how their 'funny story about a tv show' they all watched the other day or something funny the dog did wasn't really that entertaining- and to get out and live life and better experiences to talk about- and my parens would attack me for not having my doctorate yet etc... it was crazy that I was somehow falling short in advanced degree- compared to someone else who didn't work or pay rent....so I just stopped talking about siblings and changed the topic if they tried to talk about them. Glad I did that as my mum passed unexpectedly and if I'd maintained the foot I'd put down, I'd have cut off contact and not enjoyed what time we did have.

11:14 stated "I vacillate between compassion, pity, anger, resentment, jealousy, and indifference depending on the day and level of drama." and I think that about sums it up.[/quote]

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