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Reply to "How did your sibling being a "dud" impact your relationship with him/her, and with your parents"
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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Both of my siblings mooch heavily off of my parents who refuse to cut them off and constantly enable their behavior. They each live, for free, in homes my parents own. Neither work. One has kids for which my mother provides free constant childcare (even though my sister doesn’t work). The other got my parents to buy him a car. All of them (even my parents) come to me for money and I have had to cut them off financially. I cannot have a normal relationship with my siblings so I have had to put up huge boundaries with them and now I barely see or speak to them (which has drastically reduced my stress). I have my own family and children to worry about; my time and resources need to be focused on them, not my siblings. I do resent them and have made it clear that when my mother passes away I am not stepping in to support them financially. [/quote] I'm sorry, pp. Is your mom buying love?[/quote] No, I think my mother has an insatiable need to be needed and is highly co-dependent. She has helped create this dynamic where she believes she is critical to my siblings’ wellbeing and they cannot function without her support. I am extremely independent and have never asked her for money or anything else other than to spend time with me and my children. However, she doesn’t seem to be able to understand that my request has no strings attached and that I don’t “need” her. So whenever we do see her, she’s spending all her time checking on my siblings via text and phone calls. Hence our relationship is incredibly strained because she just can’t be. [/quote]
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