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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP here.  Thank you again for your responses, I am definitely thinking about this issue from new perspectives.

[b]I am curious: how would you come to an acceptance about the fact that your only child has little to no extended family?[/b]  I ruminate about this all the time.  This upsets/worries me constantly because I worry that my child, who already feels lonely as an only, will feel all alone in the future.  My parents are completely disengaged grandparents, my sister has no interest in a relationship and I only see her once every few years and she's really not an aunt to my son, and my in-laws are incredibly dysfunctional.  I feel upset and disappointed in my own family's lack of interest in me and my son.  They are happy with the occasional phone call and don't feel a need to see us or visit more than once a year or every few years.

Most of my friends/acquaintances have very involved and engaged grandparents/aunts, uncles and cousins and they have big, warm loving extended families for their kids and fun holidays.  In contrast we don't spend any holidays with family (due to their lack of interest plus the distance) so we have no holiday memories with family.  In general, we don't see family that often and when we do it's not a very enjoyable time for any of us.  My son doesn't really know his extended family very well.

I am really disappointed that our families don't value family and am having a hard time making peace with this and moving on.  And this is part of why I spent 8 years TTC because I really wanted to grow my own family.

[/quote]

maybe your son will have a big family?

it seems that you have given up on the family you do have? your sister? ok, she lives in Hawaii - my own sister lives in europe and I don't see her very often but we talk several times a week. we are very close.

same with your parents, it just seems like you have given up on them and are resigned to having very little relationship with them.

regarding baby fever, i kind of understand where you are coming from. i had a baby at 45 (my third), she is only 4 and and i still tear up every few days looking at baby stuff or thinking how time is going to pass and everything that is an everyday thing now will be only a faded memory. i believe that baby fever has a mind of its own. like, i love babies, it's the happiest time and i would do it over and over and over and over again. and i say this as a pretty accomplished professional with a phd.

regarding your decision - i think the problem here is that it will take time to have that baby and you will be older still when it happens. it seems that you would have financial resources at least to handle it for a while. but i don't think having a baby would solve the issues you mention (loneliness, lack of family etc). it can also create issues you do not anticipate.[/quote]

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