Reply to Hetero couple proclaiming themselves as queer

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]NP we present like a cis hetero couple but we're not so I'm queer[/quote]

What does that mean? [/quote]

DP. A bi person (or two) in an opposite sex marriage will present that way. I know at least one family with a trans man married to a cis woman, where if you don't know he's trans (and I didn't the first time I met him), they look like a cis hetero couple but aren't.[/quote]

I guess I’m struggling to understand how bisexuals in a hetero marriage means anything. I mean, if you’re in a monogamous marriage, who cares that you were bisexual before. Now you are in a hetero marriage.

The people I know who identify as queer never refer to themselves as gay or lesbian, but they have same-sex partners. They also tend to present themselves in terms of hair/fashion, etc. in a way that doesn’t align with stereotypes related to their gender. More directly: they proudly put forth their queer identity in various ways.

[/quote]

A person didn't cease to be bisexual because they're monogamous and in a relationship with a person of the opposite gender. That's not what the identity is about, it's about who you're attracted to, sexually/romantically. That doesn't change because you're married.[/quote]

But it doesn’t matter once you’re married. So why would you need to broadcast it to anyone once you are married? [/quote]
Why doesn’t it matter? It’s still who they are. [/quote]

It’s who they are attracted to, not who they are…particularly if married/hetero.

Why would anyone else need to know that?

That’s the point of the thread, right? Pondering why anyone feels compelled to put that info out there when married. And why on earth anyone would include it on their resume/cover letter unless they think it gives them an advantage. It seems like unnecessary, intimate info. [/quote]

Not the pp you replied to.  I'm a queer person.  I absolutely consider bisexuals in a heterosexual marriage as valid queer people.  Just because they get heterosexual privilege doesn't mean they're not still queer.  It also doesn't mean that they don't suffer when people discriminate against queer people.  They either have to stand up with the rest of us or sit in silence in the closet.  Being in the closet is being ashamed of your identity. [/quote]

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