Reply to Parent excluding my DD. Kids are friends inside of school

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP, I’m surprised that you want your daughter to be friends with these girls. They not only exclude her on play dates (could be mother or child driven) but also at school (definitely child driven). She is picked last as a partner. She can tell she is “plan b”. I can only imagine how much more torture she would endure on a play date with these girls. They might not be mean girls, but they don’t see your daughter as a valuable friend.

The mom that you think of as outwardly friendly, but distant, might be tap dancing like crazy, asking her daughter to let yours join in at school, but not forcing her to spend time outside school. She is probably exactly what she seems - a friendly person who is being aloof and cagey with all the “next time!” comments because she doesn’t want to say the obvious. She is hoping that you get the message. [/quote]

OP here.  Thank you.  This is precisely it, I believe.  And thanks to all the other parents who offered their opinion.  it has really helped.

and part of learning these dynamics is a part of life, I know.  I just didn't think it started so young (I saw this more in late middle school myself).

hugs to all.  even the snarky moms.[/quote]
How often are you hosting the gatherings for this group?[/quote]

[b]I don’t think OP ever answered about hosting this group or others.[/b]

My son has a classmate friend and mom tried to arrange a play date. She threw out a weekend but no date or time. We are a busy family. Then she asks if ds can hang out at a very specific time and I said we already had plans. I threw out another date and they were not available. Then she asked for the next weekend and ds was attending a birthday party. The boy was not invited.

I have 3 kids. They all play sports. We literally have sports everyday. My kids usually hang out with friends before or after practice or on off days on weekends. It would be harder to coordinate with a kid playing a different sport and different practice schedule. Play dates 95% with carpool friends to sports. Same people.[/quote]
I don’t think so either. Or if the other 2 girls host. [/quote]

Op here.  I have not hosted and this is certainly my responsibility.  As people mentioned here - many of the kids have various activities (sport, dance).  The other moms have not initiated anything with my child either.[/quote]

Well then, there you go.  Step up and host.[/quote]

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