Reply to s/o - Aborting because a child is "disabled"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I am reading these abortion thread in tears.  (Blame the 12 week hormones.)  I cannot believe the number of women who are caviler about aborting a baby with downs, spina bifida, etc.   My sister (in another part of the country) has an amazing little girl with spina bifida.  This little girl is so smart (top reading group!), gorgeous, and has lots of friends.  She is a speed demon in her wheelchair and will probably be doing backflips in her wheelchair soon.  This is a kid that the doctors encouraged them to abort because of the "low quality of life"!!!  There have been some challenging times for the family - 5 significant surgeries, 4 of which I flew out to be there for my sister.  BUT, its not nearly as bad as people from the outside might think or imagine.   My niece is just like any other 1st grade girl - she just so happens to need a wheelchair to play and has some (manageable!) extra medical needs.   We are not a religious family, but I am so proud and grateful that my sister choose life for my niece!!!

My sister recently linked on FB to this blog of another SB family.  It has stuck with me, esp this part:

"We have such a double standard going. We pat our kids on the head and tell them that they should be nice to the little kid in the wheelchair. Don't stare at the little girl bouncing on her toes trying to fly. Don't point at the little boy who looks a little different. Be nice. Be friendly.[b] Just don't you dare be my child.[/b]

. . . .

If you ever find yourself in that position of discovering that your child is not going to be who you thought: relax. It's not going to      be that bad. You are strong enough, you are amazing enough, you will do just fine. There's no need to panic. Remember that people with disabilities are people. They love, they laugh, they play, they communicate, they live. If you can get over yourself, you will do just fine."

http://thelittlekingsley.blogspot.com/2012/03/its-not-that-bad.html

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OP - you make it sound like it was nothing at all to get your niece to the point she is now.  My guess - it was a very long, hard, sometimes lonely, sometimes desperate, sometimes hopeless journey.  Looking in from the outside on the other side of the country it's very easy to quip about how insignificant your sister, your niece, and her family's struggle really was and will continue to be, what a non-issue her disability is, etc.

[/quote]
Not to make light of what her sis went thru, but, really, so what?  As I said in a post above, most people here are highly capable, resourceful, smart, intelligent, creative. . do amazing things in their personal and professional lives. . have done amazing thigns in their personal and professional lives. . .why then crumble in front of this one particular issue?  if it were something else, most people would be charging forward and saying, "Lemme at it!  I can do this!  Outta my way!"  Why is this such a cause for otherwise brave, smart, capable, competent, resourceful, monied people to reduce themselves to sniveling bowls of jelly???[/quote]\

(And, furthermore, why is it ok for everyone else to say, "There, there, of course you can't."  When, in everything else in life, we say, "OF course you can!  Chin up!  Don't let anything get in your way!  Full speed ahead"  Why is laudable to apply this attitude to most things we have all faced in our lives (school, career, relationships, gosh, even working out for heaven's sakes) and yet: "Have a disabled child?? No way!!  You poor dear!  You couldn't.  Just walk away.  You can't.")  Geez, I know this is simplistic, but in everything esle in life, we are told the ol' Nike slogan, "JUST DO IT."  Why can't we just do it with THIS, ladies????)   [/quote]

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