Reply to Were we supposed to bring a card $$ to the wedding?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]NJ/NY wedding - my understanding is that registry gifts are for engagement parties and showers. People bring $$$ to the wedding.

I grew up in the Midwest OP and got married in my hometown- so I would have 100% understood your generous gift to be the wedding gift. Where I am from a shower gift is is something under $50 or even under $25 like a mixing bowl or a set of oven mitts.

I married into an Italian family from NJ and we hardly got anything we registered for and got mostly cash and checks. [/quote]

Another Midwesterner here. Gifts are for the shower and cash is for the wedding in my Eastern Euro community.[/quote]

Middle aged Hoosier here.  I don't recall ever attending a wedding shower, only bridal showers where gifts were of a personal nature for the bride.  What would you give at a wedding shower that you wouldn't give for the wedding?  Giving cash would be considered incredibly rude.[/quote]

What's a wedding shower? I'm from the midwest and the only wedding events where gifts may be given that I'm aware of are: 
1) engagement party
2) bridal shower
3) bachelorette party
4) wedding

Shower gifts are from the registry, personal items for the bride are for the bachelorette, and cash for the wedding, which is most definitely not rude where I come from, next door to Indiana. I'm not sure what the distinction between wedding shower and bridal shower is.[/quote]

I'm from the midwest, too.  In our community:
Engagement party - not usually done but if it is, gifts are small tokens and usually consumable.
Bridal shower is for the bride - usually lingerie and stuff for the wedding night/honeymoon or, perhaps, a small, personal household item.  Bridal showers are supposed to be organized by friends of the bride and invitees are limited to female friends and family. 
Bachelorette party - female only and usually only for the first marriage unless the bride is also young at the time of the 2nd marriage.  Organized by close friends (usually the bridal party) and includes female friends and similar aged female relatives.  If gifts are given, they're usually really explicit.[/quote]

So, at your showers in front of the great aunts, little cousins, and grandmothers the bride is unwrapping a bunch of lingerie? Huh. I've only ever seen toasters, towels, serving platters, etc at a shower. It's like a baby shower, it's all registry stuff. Gifts at the wedding that aren't cash are usually from people who weren't invited to the shower because it's unlikely someone would buy 2 registry gifts if also invited to shower. Not all guests get invited to shower, obviously. The lingerie and other stuff is saved for the night out with the friends at the bachelorette party in my experience.[/quote]

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