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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Statistically what is most likely to keep your teenager from destructive behavior?

My twins are 11 and will be in Jr. High next year.  I know that everything can start at this age and I want to prepare my kids.

I’m not a scare tactic type parent.  I want to arm them with facts and tools.  I know I experimented with drugs, alcohol and sex in HS but things are so different now.  I’m worried.
[/quote]

I’ll just say that I don’t think safe experience with drugs, smoking or alcohol = destructive behavior.
But what safe experiences and experimentation looks like will absolutely vary kid by kid, family by family.[/quote]

I agree with you. My goal for my kids as  teens was decidedly not that they never touch the stuff. My goal was that they be safe. I think the kid who never has a drop of alcohol touch their lips until they get to college is really at risk for all sorts of problems. I realize that may be an unpopular opinion on this board but that is how I thought about it. So far so good. My kid who is in college is very comfortable with light to moderate social drinking, knows her limits, doesn’t like to feel out of control and so really stays away from getting wasted. She was just telling me the other day she’s excited to turn 21 in a few months so she can “order a nice glass of wine at a restaurant.“ We talked a lot about safety and alcohol use when she was in high school. Obviously we didn’t allow other kids to drink at our house. But I was also clear that I would pick her up anywhere any time, she would never be punished for being truthful about party she was at. And absolutely positively no driving under the influence. [/quote]

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