Reply to When to tell kids the truth about their father’s adultery as reason for divorce

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[quote=Anonymous]My parents divorced after my dad cheated.   My 13yo sister found out.  I (11 at the time) did not, until my early 20s when my mom told me.

My sister had a terrible relationship with our dad after the divorce - very angry.  Unfortunately that translated into being very angry with men in general, presuming that all men are bad and cheaters.  She had a series of bad relationships, with cheating on both sides.  Also had major issues with any authority figure.  She was just angry at the world. She had a really hard time learning to trust anyone.

I had a decent relationship with both parents.  It saddened me when I finally learned the truth, but I understood why my mom had kept it from me at the time. It explained a lot.  So I'm glad she eventually told me, but I'm also glad it didn't define my teen years.  By the time I learned about it, I'd already seen and had a handful of healthy relationships, so I knew they were possible and what they looked like.

So I vote for waiting until they are through the teens years.  Not to protect the cheating ex, but because learning of these kinds of adult issues can really screw up a child or young teen, and impact their ability to have healthy relationships for a long time.[/quote]

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