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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP, I am writing it as someone whose exH carried over a hidden affair at work for 5 years. He also did it on work trips/abroad. In my case it was a strong emotional connection between the 2 of them, so he would not stop seeing her. And I wanted out, too as I didn't want to live as a family with his AP so involved in my marriage forever.

But if your husband is already broken up with that woman, she's already disposed of and irrelevant. Her texting you shows her weakness. Do not break your marriage over some whore. Particular if your husband wants to reconcile, work on the relationship. You have 3 kids to think of ! If otherwise the marriage felt good (no abuse, alcohol, he is a good earner) try to stick it out. Do not confront him openly, do not talk about a divorce. Give yourself time to line up finances, research lawyers, get all statements. Then keep it locked in your drawer until kids are out for college.

[/quote]

This is just bad advice here.

While I agree it is wise to make a plan regarding finances + other stuff - to live w/a cheater until OP’s youngest child goes off to college is just not right.

Life is to be relished.
Every single day.

So many people do not get the opportunity to wake up every morning like we all do.
It is a huge blessing to have the ability to do so & should NEVER be taken for granted.

To intentionally set yourself up for yrs of misery is just a travesty in my opinion.
Telling yourself that you will stay w/a cheating spouse over the next few yrs is just wasting your life away.

We only get one shot at this you know.
It is not to be squandered away like a bad purchase.

While I think you DO need a plan moving forward &gt; resolving to live w/a dirty rotten cheater for the next few yrs or so will be hell.
I promise you that. 😡😡😡[/quote]

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