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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote] they all had different needs at different times. And when they did, we spent money on them according to their individual needs. We made no effort to make sure that we spent the same exact amount on each kid over the years, and we never felt like we had to[/quote]

You are evil. Honestly, I'm 60+ with several adult children and unless one of yours has some extreme outliner condition, all should be treated fairly. And that means equally.[/quote]

What on earth are you talking about?  Since when does fairly mean the same thing as financially equal?

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The first PP apparently has a black and white view of the world. They don't understand that most family situations are more fluid, and needs come and go. [/quote]

I mean, seriously.  Do she expect me to keep a spreadsheet of every cent I ever spend on each kid?

Here's an example.  We had one kid who needed to go to boarding school for a year.  It wasn't free.  The other kids were in public school.  Are we supposed to give the other kids the cash equivalent?

We had a different kid decide to go to a private liberal arts college because it had a particular major they wanted and otherwise was a better fit for their needs.  The others went to state schools with similarly good reputations and programs (think UVA).  Are we supposed to pay the other kids the tuition difference?

We had one kid who needed help with child care, another who needed help with a down payment, and another who needed neither.  Are we supposed to pay that kid the cash equivalent of the child care or the down payment?  Or, since the kid who needed neither was the one who went to boarding school for a year, do we subtract the cost of boarding school from the down payment the other kid got and make up the difference?

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