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Reply to "Is it messed up to not save for your kids college even if you can afford it?"
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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I’m saving for my kids college education so they can graduate without any debt; however there will be strings attached. I will only pay for certain degrees, such as Engineering. Maybe premed if they show good promise, but I’d prefer a 4 years and our degree. Grades will need to be good. My kids will need to work summer jobs beginning at 15 and pay me what they can do that they have at least some skin in the game. If they can’t do the above but still want higher education they can redeem themselves going to community college.[/quote] This is awful and your kids will pay in years of therapy for how controlling you are as a parent - only pay for certain degrees like Engineering or premed if promise? Wow.[/quote] [b]I see where PP is coming from, although it is controlling. Please read How to Raise an Adult.[/b] My expectation is that when my kids get there they will make the decisions I am happy with without any guidance from me. "Train up a child in the way (s)he should go: and when (s)he is old, (s)he will not depart from it."[/quote] DP. I literally just read that book, and it describes the exact opposite of what PP is describing. It prescribes letting kids make their own choices and mistakes so they can learn about and value their own strengths, not labor under a domineering, high expectation, achievement-oriented parent who doles out approval and resources based on performance. Perhaps you need to read it again.[/quote] +1 If you raise a child well (meaning, a safe home, well fed, emotionally supported, not overly coddled, whatever your individual family’s values are) you will have conversations with your child about higher education, the whys, the how’s, etc. I am not worried about what my children will study in college or ROI. I know they value the opportunity and will choose a school where they will be supported in turning whatever degree they get into a job/career path. I worry more about first generation college kids struggling with how to use their degrees to move up be SES ladder and being saddled with debt. Also, as a high SES child. If you do not help or plan for college, you are dropping your kid off a financial cliff at 18 and, to quote a PP, that is a dick move. [/quote]
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