Anonymous
Post 05/08/2022 19:53     Subject: Re:Is it messed up to not save for your kids college even if you can afford it?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:It's very irresponsible because your child has to turn in a FAFSA that takes your income into account. So you being high-income but not saving puts your child on worse footing than the poor. Unless you plan on being like one of those sad 70 year old boomers still toiling away because of "college costs"


Working at 70 isn't sad. Lots of people will probably live to 100 now. That's 30 years to goof off. Better to work until you really can't anymore.


I don’t disagree, but as someone who retired at 53 I’m looking to go back to work in some capacity. For me it would be sad to have to work at the pace I worked at in my 30s and 40s. I realize I do enjoy working, but don’t like doing it with someone’s boot on my throat. I’d love to find a nice 30hr a week job.
Anonymous
Post 05/08/2022 08:37     Subject: Is it messed up to not save for your kids college even if you can afford it?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I’m saving for my kids college education so they can graduate without any debt; however there will be strings attached. I will only pay for certain degrees, such as Engineering. Maybe premed if they show good promise, but I’d prefer a 4 years and our degree. Grades will need to be good. My kids will need to work summer jobs beginning at 15 and pay me what they can do that they have at least some skin in the game.

If they can’t do the above but still want higher education they can redeem themselves going to community college.


This is awful and your kids will pay in years of therapy for how controlling you are as a parent - only pay for certain degrees like Engineering or premed if promise? Wow.



I see where PP is coming from, although it is controlling. Please read How to Raise an Adult.

My expectation is that when my kids get there they will make the decisions I am happy with without any guidance from me.

"Train up a child in the way (s)he should go: and when (s)he is old, (s)he will not depart from it."


DP. I literally just read that book, and it describes the exact opposite of what PP is describing. It prescribes letting kids make their own choices and mistakes so they can learn about and value their own strengths, not labor under a domineering, high expectation, achievement-oriented parent who doles out approval and resources based on performance. Perhaps you need to read it again.



+1

If you raise a child well (meaning, a safe home, well fed, emotionally supported, not overly coddled, whatever your individual family’s values are) you will have conversations with your child about higher education, the whys, the how’s, etc. I am not worried about what my children will study in college or ROI. I know they value the opportunity and will choose a school where they will be supported in turning whatever degree they get into a job/career path. I worry more about first generation college kids struggling with how to use their degrees to move up be SES ladder and being saddled with debt.

Also, as a high SES child. If you do not help or plan for college, you are dropping your kid off a financial cliff at 18 and, to quote a PP, that is a dick move.


Above Poster here. Adding this is the view as the parent of a high achieving high school junior that may choose to major in environmental policy or theater or something she discovers in college and likely at a private college as we live in DC. We are UMC, so not wealthy and glad we saved as we could of cash flow this.
Anonymous
Post 05/08/2022 08:28     Subject: Is it messed up to not save for your kids college even if you can afford it?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I’m saving for my kids college education so they can graduate without any debt; however there will be strings attached. I will only pay for certain degrees, such as Engineering. Maybe premed if they show good promise, but I’d prefer a 4 years and our degree. Grades will need to be good. My kids will need to work summer jobs beginning at 15 and pay me what they can do that they have at least some skin in the game.

If they can’t do the above but still want higher education they can redeem themselves going to community college.


This is awful and your kids will pay in years of therapy for how controlling you are as a parent - only pay for certain degrees like Engineering or premed if promise? Wow.



I see where PP is coming from, although it is controlling. Please read How to Raise an Adult.

My expectation is that when my kids get there they will make the decisions I am happy with without any guidance from me.

"Train up a child in the way (s)he should go: and when (s)he is old, (s)he will not depart from it."


DP. I literally just read that book, and it describes the exact opposite of what PP is describing. It prescribes letting kids make their own choices and mistakes so they can learn about and value their own strengths, not labor under a domineering, high expectation, achievement-oriented parent who doles out approval and resources based on performance. Perhaps you need to read it again.



+1

If you raise a child well (meaning, a safe home, well fed, emotionally supported, not overly coddled, whatever your individual family’s values are) you will have conversations with your child about higher education, the whys, the how’s, etc. I am not worried about what my children will study in college or ROI. I know they value the opportunity and will choose a school where they will be supported in turning whatever degree they get into a job/career path. I worry more about first generation college kids struggling with how to use their degrees to move up be SES ladder and being saddled with debt.

Also, as a high SES child. If you do not help or plan for college, you are dropping your kid off a financial cliff at 18 and, to quote a PP, that is a dick move.
Anonymous
Post 05/07/2022 21:35     Subject: Is it messed up to not save for your kids college even if you can afford it?
Anonymous wrote:Yes that’s messed up.


+1
Anonymous
Post 05/07/2022 19:56     Subject: Re:Is it messed up to not save for your kids college even if you can afford it?
Anonymous wrote:You shouldn't save for it unless you really want to. Kids are freaking drain on your resources and being a parent is a thankless job. If I had to do it over again I wouldn't. It's tough to throw your money down a black hole and hope that it comes back to you one day.


If only you had been born barren, the world would be a better place.
Anonymous
Post 05/07/2022 18:49     Subject: Re:Is it messed up to not save for your kids college even if you can afford it?
You shouldn't save for it unless you really want to. Kids are freaking drain on your resources and being a parent is a thankless job. If I had to do it over again I wouldn't. It's tough to throw your money down a black hole and hope that it comes back to you one day.
Anonymous
Post 05/07/2022 18:46     Subject: Is it messed up to not save for your kids college even if you can afford it?
Yes that’s messed up.
Anonymous
Post 05/07/2022 18:11     Subject: Is it messed up to not save for your kids college even if you can afford it?
I don’t think that it is messed up. It depends a lot on your values. But I would fund or partially fund my kids college in your shoes. Conversely we are very wealthy and other than schooling I don’t plan on leaving our kids much if anything, which most DCUMers find reprehensible.

The big difference mi see between the two is that the financial aid your children will receive will depend on your income, so not funding it actually puts your child behind others who don’t have the financial capacity, unless your plan is to cut your children off financially entirely such that they become emancipated from you. I could never do that, but I think that for some, it would be a worthwhile endeavor.

FYI, for independence reasons I paid for a bit more than half of my schooling myself (work study/ loans/ scholarship). It was important to me at the time.
Anonymous
Post 05/07/2022 15:30     Subject: Is it messed up to not save for your kids college even if you can afford it?
I’m sure your kid will appreciate you not saving for their college because you think degrees are worthless even though yours got you a very good job.
Anonymous
Post 05/07/2022 15:29     Subject: Re:Is it messed up to not save for your kids college even if you can afford it?
Anonymous wrote:It's very irresponsible because your child has to turn in a FAFSA that takes your income into account. So you being high-income but not saving puts your child on worse footing than the poor. Unless you plan on being like one of those sad 70 year old boomers still toiling away because of "college costs"


Working at 70 isn't sad. Lots of people will probably live to 100 now. That's 30 years to goof off. Better to work until you really can't anymore.
Anonymous
Post 05/07/2022 15:27     Subject: Is it messed up to not save for your kids college even if you can afford it?
I know tons of people that do this. Disney cruises, new cars, early retirement...but seem to have no idea how other people can afford college.
Anonymous
Post 05/07/2022 15:23     Subject: Re:Is it messed up to not save for your kids college even if you can afford it?
It's very irresponsible because your child has to turn in a FAFSA that takes your income into account. So you being high-income but not saving puts your child on worse footing than the poor. Unless you plan on being like one of those sad 70 year old boomers still toiling away because of "college costs"
Anonymous
Post 05/07/2022 14:18     Subject: Is it messed up to not save for your kids college even if you can afford it?
Generational wealth is passed along because parents pay for things like college and down payments on first houses. This allows their kids to save the money they would instead be using to pay down debt. This means longer time in the market, and more money when they're older so they in turn can help their own kids the same way. This is how you build generational wealth, and why people care about stuff like this.
Anonymous
Post 05/07/2022 11:06     Subject: Is it messed up to not save for your kids college even if you can afford it?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Millennial here, went to a state school in the early 2010's and paid my way through because parents didn't have the money, and I still graduated with 40k in debt which I paid off in 3 years thanks to a decent starting salary (thank you CS degree). Now I make several times more and my wife is pregnant with our first kid, so thinking about college savings, but reading these forums it seems like everyone is obsessed with fully funding their kids college education. Why should I feel obligated to do so when 1) lots of college degrees these days are completely worthless and won't give anywhere close to a good ROI and 2) higher education is in a massive debt fueled bubble and maybe I don't want to help fuel it by paying extremely inflated tuition costs? I have a lot of friends who aren't in a financial position to contribute to 529's even if they wanted to, yet they still have kids. Honestly I think there's too much emphasis on saving for college given that so many degrees are worthless and the bubble just keeps expanding with all this free government money flowing into higher ed. Not every person should even go to college.


So you went to college, have a good job because of it, recognizer that it costs much more than it did when you went, but don't want to save for your kid's education because some degrees are worthless, and it costs a lot?

OK.

And party of your rationale is that you have friends who can't save for college, and they still have kids, so you shouldn't have to either, even though you *can* save.

Wow.



Yeah, the original poster is a bit entitled! Who wouldn’t want the best for their kids?

And for most kids, that means planning for them to attend college to get ahead in life. Why the he’ll would you want to make life more difficult for your kids?

Anonymous
Post 05/07/2022 00:39     Subject: Is it messed up to not save for your kids college even if you can afford it?
Anonymous wrote:College will be around 500k each for kids born today


Monumental waste of money, considering half don’t even graduate and lots of them sign up for joke classes for the easy A so they can party and drink instead of studying hard. Nothing wrong with that stuff but why pay hundreds of thousands for it???