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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP - I am not being sarcastic when I ask this - but why are you unsure about what you want?  As PPs said - this could be a reasonable request - but that doesn't really matter if it's not what YOU want.  People can disagree about reasonable things.

But his request doesn't even seem in line with you in some major ways - why are you doubting yourself?  What is making you hesitate?[/quote]
Op here. Purely for emotional reasons. We have an amazing connection. I thought I’d finally met someone who was really my other half in so many ways. I’m fine being single, but it’s wonderful to have a partner who is so sympatico with me on almost every level. He has become my closest friend. I will miss him terribly if we break up. I am so sad about the way he is presenting what he wants or needs me to do. [b]I feel manipulated[/b].[/quote]

You lose a lot of credibility with me with statements like he is manipulating you and your earlier statement that it feels like emotional blackmail.  He wants what he wants and you want what you want, both of you have reasonable positions but they are clearly not compatible so you guys should break up.  It's really that simple.[/quote]

I agree that it is this simple, but the feeling of being manipulated may stem from the cognitive dissonance that many of us experience in relationships - at once being vulnerable and feeling "sympatico" with a partner, and then acknowledging that they don't actually have our best interests at heart (or us their's honestly) and that balance of compromise / self-interest / etc.  Women may feel this more because we are generally trained and expected to be the more understanding, flexible, etc., in a relationship and to sacrifice for the "greater" good - also, it wasn't that long ago that a woman's best financial security WAS getting married, so leaving college, following a husband was the norm.[/quote]

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