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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Can we stay focused on MS and HS? Elementary is not a factor in this discussion and light years away 9 year olds also do not factor in 
And this discussion is not about the UMC black families that can afford private and I do believe that all families worry about their kids and want what is best
We are talking about what options there are for MC and UMC white families that live in DC and want more diversity in their schools and what comfort level they have to be the only white kid in the school. 
Most schools are predominantly black and many of those kids live out of bounds over the river and in MD which is a whole other story 
We live under the mason Dixon line and it makes sense demographically but we still need to acknowledge that many of us who moved here to be in DC and experience this great city are met with a terrible school system overall and those of us that can not afford private or get a lottery spot are lost in what to do.
I don’t think the Washington natives are raciest and I think for the most part DC implants are not racists but there is an obvious cultural difference. Many of my DC (dear child) friends are black but I don’t know where they  live and have never met their parents because they are not involved at school and it leave loss in their social life. great kids! just limited

[/quote]

Can we please stay focused on the UMC white people! I mean, jeez, after hundreds of years of it being all about everyone else when will white people with means finally get the attention they so desire?

-Signed a white person who is mortified by PP[/quote]

It is okay for white people in DC to want to discuss these thorny school choice issues. Asking that the conversation stay focused on this issue is different than asking that ALL conversations about public school in DC focus on white people.

One of the reasons this problem exists is because it is taboo for white people in DC to openly discuss issues like discomfort with being the only white family in a class or grade. People will say it in hush tones and behind closed doors, but there's shame in it, like you are saying something deeply selfish or even racist. There are so many elephant in this room that don't get addressed because white people don't want to be seen as insensitive or supporting white supremacy. But it would be better to just get it out and address it head on. It's not as though staying quiet about it solves the problem -- it just means that people move schools and then lie about why they did it. "Oh this school is more convenient for our commute" or whatever. It would be better if we just talked about tit openly to figure out if there is a way to address it.

I have a white kid in a predominantly black DCPS and we love the school but the issue of her being the only white kid in many settings comes up a lot. We are fielding her questions and concerns the best we can but let me tell you, it's not easy because we have to both support her for the situation she is currently in (as a racial minority) while also thinking about teaching her about white supremacy, a concept that currently makes little to no sense to her because she spend a lot of her time in a majority-black environment where she sometimes feels like the odd kid out. It's threading a weird needle and there is very little guidance for this specific situation.

I talk about this stuff because I'm trying to figure it out. I have to talk to other white people about it because they are the only ones who are in the same situation and who might understand the competing priorities. Telling us to be quiet and stop centering ourselves in a conversation that we started about our experience is weird. We aren't hijacking a conversation among POC about school equity. We're trying to have a conversation about how we, as white people, can support school equity while also fulfilling our parental duty to support our own kids academically and socially.

If you don't have useful information or advice, you are not required to participate.[/quote]

There's a lot going on in your reply. Some of it I get and some seems downright silly and dripping with liberal guilt. Let's unpack.

First, I haven't a clue why you or anyone else would ever hesitate to say out loud that being an "only" is a tough place to be. That's a statement of fact regardless of race, religion, sex or any other thing that makes one "different". What's concerning to me is that you seem to be saying it in hush tones and worrying about whether people will call you a racist if you say it out loud. Do you think you are a racist? Do you think it is racist to say being an only can be isolating and lonely? If not then why the hell do you care what others say? The people on DCUM and IRL who come back at you to tell you that expressing concern about being an only is racist, or that somehow they are often the only one and they don't like it so somehow you should similarly suffer are trying to use your liberal guilt against you. They are controlling you and the narrative...and it is working. Stop apologizing for being concerned that your kid is an only or one of very few. It is "taboo" if you let people control you and tell you how you should feel.

Saying that 9 year olds don't factor into this discussion ignores the reality of Latin and Basis starting in 5th grade and the impact that has on parental decisions for rising 5th graders and their MS and HS paths.

The conflating of "UMC" and "white" in this discussion is a problem. What you are expressing is concern about being an only white kid in a class, club, etc. That's fair. But don't conflate that with UMC. White people aren't the only UMC families in DC, and not all white people are UMC. The issue here isn't UMC or money, it's race. Stick to that.

The "anti-racist" thing is a challenge. Kids who have attended DCPS or PCSB schools since they were 3 and live in DC understand that what happened to blacks in America was appalling. They have empathy. What's less clear is to what degree some of this anti-racist teaching intentionally or otherwise communicated to 7 year old white kids about how they should feel about their own culpability (spoiler alert: nothing, they are 7!) That's all fair as well. It is also part and parcel of living in DC, or going to a liberal arts college in the US.

Finally, if you are wondering whether you should prioritize your own kid's educational outcomes or "equity" then you need to check your priorities. My kid attended a diverse school (@25% white, 60% black). The classes were basically representative of that breakdown. As they got older the school was failing to teach to where my advanced kid was and so we changed schools. Did not hesitate. New school has more whites and anything else (still in DC). Do I notice the marked increase in white faces? Of course. Do I feel guilty about it? Not one damn bit. My kid didn't take a spot from someone, it was a lottery. And I didn't fail the old school by leaving, the old school failed me.

TL ; DR Stop conflating being the "only" (or one of a very few) with being UMC and white, stop letting others shame you or convince you that something is "taboo" or to be handled in hushed tones, and if you aren't a racist then WTF do you care if some ignorant fool calls you that?      [/quote]

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