Reply to Man I’m dating constantly rescues 21 yr old daughter

Forum Index » Relationship Discussion (non-explicit)

Reply to "Man I’m dating constantly rescues 21 yr old daughter "

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]When I was 21, I had a boyfriend who would help me for everything. I had a college roommate who didn’t have a boyfriend. She also relied on her parents a lot but they lived in a different country. I clearly remember the mom telling her it was ok to rely on them and not to rely on a boyfriend. I remember feeling offended at the time. Now that I have a daughter, I absolutely 100% would rather her call me or Dh for help for anything.

21 is college age. He is allowed to be there for his daughter if she needs him.[/quote]

21 one is adult for most people a year from graduation . If by that stage in life you can't figure out dental appointments how to replace lost books without calling in your parents or a boyfriend your parents have failed you. Good parenting is not about doing everything for and making everything easy for your kids. This learned helplessness is making people anxious and depressed.
[/quote]

Maybe, or maybe we're only getting part of the story.
I have an 18 year old college freshman, so similar life stage. She called this week in absolute hysterics because she couldn't find her laundry detergent.
The kid is so incapable, what a bad parent I've been. Except, not really. She'd had a 103 degree fever for 3 days at that point, she had just had a massive bloody nose all over her bed sheets and she just wanted to be able to wash her bedsheets and crawl back in bed and feel awful again. Real actual adulty-adults could reasonably be in hysterics in that situation.

It's possible the OP is telling the truth ... except her original post has a lot of emotion in it and it wouldn't surprise me if there were elements she was disregarding. My kid had a latin text that was out of print. Finding it was a bit of a chore and had she lost it, I guarantee she would have contacted me since I was the one who found it in the first place. That's not being needy or helpless, that's using the tools at her disposal to fix a mistake. Some people have dental phobias. It's entirely possible she and her dad made a deal where she would try a new dentist, but if it didn't work, she could get her needed cleaning or what have you at the dentist she was already comfortable with. They might consider her making an appointment with another dentist and getting to it  - even if unsuccessful at a cleaning - a move in the right direction. We don't know. What we do know is that OP does not respect this man, and she should probably not be with him. I wouldn't respect him for being with someone who thinks so poorly of him and his daughter.[/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics