Reply to s/o finding a half sibling placed in adoption

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]
NP and finding it interesting how the people in favor of locating siblings who were given for adoption seem to feel at least mostly sure that the newly found sibling will want the contact and maybe a relationship. What if you locate this person only to be rejected? Will you pursue them, or wait but still hope they "come around?" Asking seriously. I figure that if they're in a genetic database they might also be seeking relatives, and might therefore be assumed to be open to contact and possibly a relationship. But that's not a given, even if they've used Ancestry or 23 and Me. Or they could regret doing the genetic testing and might back off once the reality of "found" siblings comes along. What if it blows up their world to have someone contact them and say they're a sibling? How do you, as the person doing the "finding," think you'll react if you're treated coolly, or even told to back off? Asking seriously. Not everyone wants to be found or wants to know their story, as someone above calls it. [/quote]

OP here, I have put myself out there, if sibling also joins the database I will reach out ... if they "reject" my offer of connection, I will respect that - but they will know that I am here if ever they want to learn about their biological beginnings

[/quote]

If there are unknown siblings out there, a person doesn't even necessarily have  to have taken a test or anything.  If someone is looking,  these sibling will be located. All anyone needs is one relative in any extended direction, and records will do the rest.  And it will happen.  That information is always going to come to light now. For those who did a test for fun,  and kept their status on view in order to connect with known relatives  with no expectation of finding half or full siblings, well, that's probably uncomfortable or even devastating,  but maybe even happy, but it is what it is. The unknown sibling  may, in fact, contact these people, and the following can happen:

The siblings can acknowledge each other without anything else, or acknowledge each other and form an acquaintance,  or relationship,  or whatever.  Both parties can say no to all of the above,  but, yes,  there is a expectation of acknowledgement . " We are siblings and this is why..."

The problem isn't with the test,  or the adopted sibling. The problem is the crazy idea that this must all be a secret. This affects not only the parties here, but all generations backward and foward. No one is forced to have a relationship, but no one will be forced, anymore, in keeping these things quiet.  [/quote]

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