Reply to How do you prepare for a lonely old age? And how to avoid being lonely when you're old?

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Reply to "How do you prepare for a lonely old age? And how to avoid being lonely when you're old?"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]You are taking the word "advocate" very literally.

This could mean being at Drs appts, listening, weighing alternatives, deciding on care, doing research to determine best alternatives.

No one said a thing about extending someones life beyond what they want.

Stop projecting. [/quote]

You can hire a case manager to do these things. Often times families burn out from this stuff. Elderly are living longer. It's no longer doing this for a few years. It can be 20 years of it and by then you have your own health issues and so does your spouse and you have to decide that that is more important. I have been at this for a long time and have seen our friends and people we have met through support groups go through it. It is a huge burden when they have many health issues and live a long time and anyone who knows the reality is going to set limits with a relative who wants to get close and might ask you to be their person. At some point you decide you have to have more boundaries with your own family and after enough times you hire people they can use so you can advocate for your own health. I have known far too many people who developed cancer, diabetes, heart issues, etc while being there for their own parents and they finally had to stop being there so much for their own parents and start attending their own doctor's appointments and focusing on self-care. In the first few years of being the support person for parents and inlaws I might have agreed with you, but honestly now I think we all should have a plan to pay people to be there because if we live a long life with many medical issues we cannot keep expecting our kids to escort us to doctor's appointments, and other things.[/quote]

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