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[quote=Anonymous]OP, what an unsettling story. I’ll be blunt - my read is your daughter totally lacks empathy, to a degree that is very unusual even for the age. It seems she cried only because she was caught, and knows which levers to press for you, and your spouse. Her identity as the class thief is probably already known by her classmates because the teacher had her elsewhere for at least one lunch; written personal apologies might make it better for some of the kids she targeted, but maybe not all.

OP, I am blunt because I’ve met some zero-empathy kids in this age cohort. It’s your job to fix it now, if it’s in fact fixable. I said what I said. It’s not normal behavior, and the analogies some have made (eg, the current comp sci expert who stole pencils) don’t really apply. Your daughter hurt people, OP, saw that, and kept it up. She took meaningful items, not at random, and not impulsively. Your reaction about her “bawling” like that means anything at all is telling. To me it seems very meaningless in terms of harm to others. She understands that a show of contrition is a potential escape hatch. She is bright, according to you. I’m in a very UMC enclave, where as in Lake Wobegon, all the kids are (way) above average by some metrics and in the eyes of their parents, with a minority taking behavioral stuff like what you describe seriously. It’s not cute, it’s not ethical, and it’s not ok as a parent to make this kind of thing small. A child psychologist would be a fantastic investment for her. [/quote]

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