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Relationship Discussion (non-explicit)
Reply to "Completely sick of my husband.Blaming me that he has a cold."
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[quote=Anonymous]OP its really frustrating communication because not only does he refuse to own up to what he said/acted (denial) but passive aggressively has laid this all on you--he would have liked to spend quality time together but you are soo sensitive about his offhand comment, etc. Its the refusal to acknowledge what he said and validate your feelings that is infuriating and like gaslighting. I would say that if you wanted to save the marriage, you could try to see a counselor who specializes in communication. but this kind of behavior is deeply ingrained. I might respond in writing. First, what you said wasn't an offhand comment about me getting you sick. It was you treating me coldly and saying that you were angry with me because you were sick and somehow it was my fault. Colds are simply a fact of life in a family; moreover, while I was caring for you while you were sick, it never occurred to you to do the same for me, so it was especially galling to be blamed. Im further angry and disappointed by your refusal to acknowledge that you did blame me and your subsequent backtracking--saying you merely "commented' that you got sick from me-- just twists the knife in further. Finally, if you were so concerned about spending quality time together before you left for the trip, you should have simply apologized, in a genuine way, for what you said. Instead you continued to blame me, this time not for making you sick but for being the reason we are not spending "quality time" together. Your inability to accept any responsibiity here is disappointing in the extreme. [/quote]
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