Reply to Moved at the suggestion of my sister, and now she's ditched me

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I was in NYC for 10 years, sister in DC.
A relationship that I thought was headed to marriage ended and I hated my job. My sister suggested I relocate to DC for a change of pace, saying basically, "We'll be right down the street, can hang out all the time, it'll be great." I was so lonely and adrift after the breakup (mutual but we were together 10 years and lived together for six) that I was so eager to feel part of a family again. I said OK. 
I visited a few times, looked at apartments with her, and decided to go for it. I knew if nothing else I'd have my sister and her family (husband and two kids) nearby, and I have some college friends there too. I can WFH thanks to COVID indefinitely with my current job so finally in June I just said screw it, I'm going to try something new and I moved to DC -- my sister lives in a town outside the city but close in on the subway.
We looked for apartments together one more time, I signed a lease, and here I am.
During the summer I hung out a lot at my sister's...she would have me for dinner a lot, I'd hang out and watch TV with them or play with my nieces. 
Now, three months into my being here, I feel like she's ghosting me.

I[b] ask to come over for dinner and she says they're busy. The kids seem to have stuff every night of the week which seems crazy but OK. I asked to work from her house sometimes because my apartment is so quiet and I'm lonely...like really lonely without my ex of 10 years...and she said sure, so I had been working there, but then she said that her husband's work schedule was ramping up and he'd be on calls a lot so I should plan to work from my own apartment more (even though I work on the other side of the house). Then this Sunday on my weekly chat with my parents, my mom said...maybe after a glass of wine, cannot tell...that I really need to give my sister more breathing room because "you know, she has a family."[/b] As if I am a nobody without a "Family" so cannot possibly have needs.

I don't know why the hell my sister told me to move here. My mom's comment has upset me so much. I feel so alone. I am so mad at my sister. Any ideas... thanks dcum.

[/quote]

OP they are talking about BOUNDARIES.  You need to be able to handle working in your own home and finding people to eat with besides your sister. You cannot make someone else responsible for YOUR happiness. My mother tried to do this to me. The more I did, the more she wanted and then she freaked out when we set boundaries. She finally got treatment for her depression and anxiety and has a more well-rounded life with FRIENDS.[/quote]

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