Reply to Moved at the suggestion of my sister, and now she's ditched me

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]
Yeah, really sounds like you—a single person with no kids who trolls parenting sites on weekends—has a really enviable, “fabulous” life. Also sounds like OP—who can’t even work from home by herself—has the capacity to build a really “fabulous” life without her family. 
 :lol: [/quote]Ignore this atypically mean-spirited, arrogant poster.  Betcha should she get widowed/divorced/etc, she'd be the first to do these things.

OP, it hurts yes.  You are justified feeling hopeless and burdensome and lonely and hurt.  If I felt like I lost my sig. oth, my sis and best friend, and mother all at the same time, I may lose perspective too.  You are however, MUCH STRONGER than you can see right now.  Tell your sister you are incredibly grateful that she let you stay with her this summer.  You are sorry you burdened her and encroached on her husband's work environment-you know what it is like to lose a man and didn't intend to put any strain on her marriage.  You will try to be a better listener and pick up on her stress.  Tell her that you feel especially bad that you were so absorbed in your breakup that she felt apprehensive to come you directly.  Tell her she can tell you anything.  Leave her a time-saving gift (a housekeeping gift card, grocery delivery gift card, an electric chopper, etc).  Tell her you'll always be there for her and her kids, and that if she ever needs to crash at your place due to a gas leak, fumigation, etc she is welcome at your place.  If she ever needs a favor, doing chores like vacuuming or dishes, someone to watch the kids for date night, a ride or pickup for the kids, a dinner cooked, you hope that she'll come to you first as you'd be thrilled to help out.  Tell her you'll drop off a quiche so she gets a dinner off and that you'd love to invite her over either once a year at Christmas/Hannukah/Diwali/Eid/etc or once every 6 months, or whenever is a low stress time.

Then comes the hard part.  It is okay to go home and have a good cry.  Then take a warm shower, muster all your strength, look in the mirror and fake pulling yourself together.  If you have to, imagine a tv character, friend, or makeup a confident persona.  Get out and join a library or wework cooperative office space or whatever gets you through the workday.  In the evening, dress up and go to every party/social/class/gym/event and send a warm hello and introduction to everyone who smiles back at you/isn't preoccupied.  I have a STRONG feeling you have brighter days ahead and your sister will come around in a much kinder way once she is less exhausted.  HANG IN THERE OP.[/quote]

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