Reply to Moved at the suggestion of my sister, and now she's ditched me

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[quote=Anonymous]Your mom wasn’t saying that you are nobody without a family, or that you don’t have needs. You were hearing her words in a very self-centered way, which may be part of the problem, because you’re not tuning into why your sister might need certain boundaries (for example, maybe her husband prefers more privacy in his home during the workday, which has nothing to do with how fond he is of you). If your knee-jerk reaction is to take things personally then it makes sense that your sister would “ghost” rather than have a direct discussion with you.

Of course you have needs, and they are very real and valid and understandable, but so does your sister (and BIL) and you need to find a balance. That your first thought reaction to learning that your BIL wants his home to himself during the workday is basically “wtf, we work on opposite sides of the house” (rather than trying to understand where he’s coming from) - well, that is going to make things difficult for your sister when she needs to set a (valid) limit.

The fall schedule for kids IS busy (not “crazy”) and hosting you for dinner adds a level of effort that they might not be up
For every day. And they might just need family time, which is NOT a rejection of you, or your needs, or whatever. I love my siblings but I would need boundaries in place in a similar situation, as would my DH.

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