Reply to Should I Ask For A Ring Before Moving In?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I knew I wanted marriage.  I made clear while dating that I expected a ring before we would move in together, and that’s how it happened.  We’re approaching 18 years of marriage now. But the key is that I knew what I wanted.  What is it that you want?  [/quote]

OP here. I didn’t expect to why engaged before moving in. I’ve never lived with a boyfriend before and it’s all new territory. I trust his word and how he feels about me. Now I’m not so sure. Most of my family members have been married for 20+ years, with most being married for 40+ years. I trust their opinion since they are all very happily married. Some of my friends agree and got engaged before moving in, and some didn’t feel they needed to get engaged before moving in. They both make good arguments for both sides and now I’m confused about what to do. [/quote]

I’m 35 and most people I know lived together before getting engaged. People married 20 or 40 plus years are too old to know what’s normal with our generation. [/quote]

+1. I’m 33 and this is true for me and my social circle as well. DH and I lived together for 6 years (and had a baby! and bought a house!) before we got married.[/quote]

Having a baby is something that could be unplanned but you were able to commit to real estate before each other? You shouldn’t be giving advice on this.[/quote]

We were committed to each other. We didn’t see any point in getting married, though we did later when one of us lost our health insurance. We were still saving for a down payment when we had a baby. You are aware that relationships can dissolve regardless of whether or not you’re married? It’s called divorce.

Judging by the unhappiness expressed by many married people on DCUM, I don’t think marriage is the end-all-be-all people make it out to be.[/quote]

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