Reply to Friends being cagey about plans. How would you react?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I am just not a friend group gal. I prefer seeing friends 1-1 or occasionally is a very small group. I find once the group gets larger there is always some power play, or some diva who doesn't like me or some sort of BS. I get invited to girl group stuff and usually make an excuse. I finally gave in with one group and by the second meet up sure enough there was a queen who made it ever so clear she had invited me and was not happy I had been included. No thanks. I make it clear to the ones I am friends with I am open to getting together, but I will not get together with a group of women without our husbands there. For some reason, even the divas are pleasant when  the husband is there to witness.[/quote]

+1 Every group of females friends I’ve ever been on the periphery of as an adult has thrown up so many red flags. Even worse when the husbands are all expected to be friends as well. [/quote]

This is not my experience and [b]makes me think the problem might be you. [/b]I'm in several different groups of girlfriends and we're all adults who care about, support each other and enjoy each other's company.  Adult women who think other women are sO mUcH dRamA are usually the ones with the issue. [/quote]

[b]Hahaha, ok, thanks. Noted. FWIW, I have several very close adult female friends me who mean the world to me. It’s more the groups of 4+ women that form around kid friendships/neighborhood blocks/schools/etc. that I’ve learned to avoid. I’m glad to hear it’s not universal, though[/b]. [/quote]

Love you. I am the other one who is not into large lady groups, but I do fine with female friends and forming close friendships. Your response made me laugh and it was so what i would do. Don't get noted and just be like "OK lady thanks for sharing!" I also laugh because I worked with someone who always bragged about her massive group of lady friends who meant the world to her....until she dumped them all and complained what a bunch of b&tches they were. She used to go on and on about the love and kinship they all shared and then all of sudden she sang a different tune....and obsessed about how awful they were daily.[/quote]

LOL.
This was a friend of mine who invited me to a few events. I immediately knew most were not my kind of crowd and were likely backstabbers. Or drama filled. I went my own way, and was busy with my young kids at the time, and family vacations. Sure enough they all ended up being enemies though many lived nearby! When the bubble burst half lost their homes because they were so busy tapping the equity out of their homes, and buying huge suburbans they couldn't afford to impress each other. It was a sh$t show. In fact, the one snobby home decorator who asked me... then didn't take my advice invited me once again after the bubble burst to become one of the investors in her travel pyramid scheme. She never learned, but I'm glad it taught me a long time ago a person's character is very important. Avoid people who have a poor character at all costs, and learn to spot those red flags.[/quote]

I think much of the time we do ignore red flags. Then say, "oh yes, should have paid attention to that."[/quote]

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