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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Every woman needs to understand that she is, 95% of the time, ALWAYS going to be the primary parent even if you have a nanny.[/quote]

This is crap.

Just accept it? No way.

1) live together before you’re married. If he doesn’t happily do his half of the chores and household stuff completely independently, without being asked and without needing to be praised for it, dump him. 
2) start out on the right foot. How many of you put together your whole baby registry with little or no input from your husbands? Nope. He’s gotta research and pick stuff too. And research childcare options or pediatricians. And read up on baby sleep. Etc. Yeah, it’s “easy and fun!” at the beginning. And it means you don’t always get what you want. Yup. That’s the only path to equality. 
3) he takes 12 weeks paternity leave. I recommend 2 with you at the beginning and 10 on his own after you go back to work. Make sure he’s on board with this before you get married. 
4) internalize NOW that your way isn’t the best way. Some things are gonna be done “sub-optimally” (aka, not how you want it done). EMBRACE this. 
5) if things start to slip (like you realize that your kids always ask you for stuff and not him) nip it in the bud FAST. Don’t accept. Don’t whine and complain. Tell him, plainly, this is unacceptable and from now on you don’t respond to children’s requests during X and Y times and then HOLD TO IT.

Are there edge cases where you get screwed? Absolutely. Your formerly-equal partner husband turns out to be completely overwhelmed by children, discussions have gotten you nowhere, just leaving every Saturday for 3 months from 8-8 and letting the chips fall where they may has lead to McDonalds and 12 hours of television every single week and zero improvement or caring. So you take on the primary parent role because you need better for your kids. That SUCKS and I feel for you. But those unavoidable and hopeless cases are not 95%!! Maybe 10%.

Don’t give in to this crap!!

—a mom who does half and no more[/quote]

Divorce is in your near future.  
[/quote]

NP. Does it make you feel better to think that? Sounds to me like OP is more on a path to divorce than PP. Clearly this post hit a nerve with you. May want to think about why...[/quote]

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