Reply to My DH does not understand what it's like to be the primary parent

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]
My husband used to sit down on the couch in our living room (which is connected to our kitchen) when I was doing something in there because it looked like I was handling everything and didn't need his help. However, I was simultaneously emptying the dishwasher, making dinner, packing lunches, and dealing with the kids' homework. But because no one was screaming, he thought it was ok. [b]Then I started sitting down on the couch with him. Every time he sat, I sat. I basically refused to do any work if he wasn't doing any (we both work full-time jobs, so this is just related to house/child work). He then realized how unfair it was that I was doing stuff while he wasn't. [/b]So now we either decide who is doing what (and if someone finished their tasks early they're generally kind enough to help the other person out), or we don't sit until we can both sit.[/quote]

This is amazing. More women should do this. Men can't argue it's unfair, or that their wives are lazy, because then they'd be calling themselves lazy. [/quote]

[b]NP. I don't want him to do stuff when I'm doing stuff. I want him to do his share of stuff (note that I did not say "help," because grown adults doing what needs to be done are not helping anyone) without being told. 
[/b]
I have yet to come up with a way of asking, "Do you think the stuff I handle makes your life easier? Do you think the reverse is true? What does that tell you about our relationship and my probable happiness?"

[/quote]
That's fine, but he's not doing it. So the physical manifestation of you not working when he's not working may cause him to reexamine what exactly he contributes to the household. Or maybe you'd rather complain. [/quote]

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