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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]There have been many posts that seem to be the MIL venting about the DIL.

Now I am a  DIL with an issue. My husband and I have been married for 5 years. My MIL I feel sometimes forgets that my husband is married with a wife and that she has a DIL and I exist.

Examples of this being we will be flying somewhere and she will just text my husband to have a safe flight instead despite the fact that we are both flying and texting in a group chat to both of us have a safe flight.

When we come to visit she will just text my husband saying she is looking forward to seeing him again instead of simply texting both of us which isn't hard to do and takes zero effort and saying I'm looking forward to seeing you guys.

When we get her a gift for mother's day she will just text my husband to thank him.

When we flew up for her birthday she just texted my husband it was so great to see you instead of us both again despite the fact me her DIL was present as well.

I want my husband to address this slight to his mother as it will be perceived better coming from him.[/quote]

She is his mother, not yours.  Your own mother can text you to have a safe flight, etc.  There is ZERO slight.

Instead, if you really want to get closer to her, bring this up in conversation next time you speak to her.  Tell her hey, don't be a stranger.  I want to be more like pals and get texts from you from time to time too.  This will come off way better than your husband bringing your perceived grievance to his mom that you are mad.[/quote]

NP. Your answer would fly if the OP wasn't there. I mean how hard is it to include a DIL to s group text? It's one extra button. If you can't do something that simple for a member of your family that is feeling bothered then I don't know what to tell you.

She isn't asking to be on every text just the ones that she is involved with also. Don't know why have a safe flight is some secret thing that has to be between mother/son alone.

The whole she is is his mother not yours also doesn't fly because OP is present for the visit and not getting acknowledged as being there as a member of the family. Also it works both ways OP is kind enough to get mother's day presents for her MIL which she isn't required to do but she isn't thanked? In what world is that polite?

OP made it pretty clear that MIL just texts her son thank you with no mention of her DIL. Yes that's a slight when DIL went out of her way to give her this gift as well. MIL can just as easily text her son thank you and DIL so much for the beautiful mother's day gift. There is no acknowledgement at all even in her sole text to her son that she was happy to see her DIL who also took time out of her busy schedule to see MIL or give her a gift.

If two friends go in on a gift for you or visit you you don't just text one friend that it was nice to see them or to thank them for a gift you text both.

The literal definition of a slight is to not acknowledge someone when they do something for you which is exactly what MIL is doing when she fails to even mention DILs presents and presence.

I bet you DIL is the one who arranges all these visits as well and most likely gets all the gifts.[/quote]

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