Reply to “He didn’t do this the whole time you were gone”: is it me???

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Reply to "“He didn’t do this the whole time you were gone”: is it me???"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Ok so I am a big Lansbury fan, but your kid is a bit older than her usual advice (babies/toddler/preschool).

I really like ManifestDestini on instagram.  She has some great videos about how to be be a peaceful BUT strong parent.  You get respect by holding the line.  You don't have to yell. When he argues back you say "I hear you but I still need you to do X".  Say it as many times as you need to.  "I understand you don't want to, but sometimes we have to do things we don't want to do".

Anyhow, good luck OP.  You can't be worried about "spoiling" your relationship.  You are his mother.  He wants boundaries from you.[/quote]

Nicely put.

OP, some of the things that bother you are actually pretty typical, and you do need to choose your battles, but that's just it: you need to choose what the lines are. Maybe you can live with grumpy compliance on some things. Maybe you can say, "We can talk about whether you can have different chores, but for now, this is your job and you need to do it."

It can help to have guidelines for behavior so not everything is a debate and so they learn to figure rules out for themselves. One family used "Safe, respectful, kind," so when a kid was jumping on furniture or insulting a present, they could go straight to a one word reminder: "Joshua, is that safe?" or "Josh. Kind."

He's not going to behave as well for you because you're his safe space, but he should be a nightmare, either. [/quote]

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