Reply to Why or why not have a 4th child?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]We stopped at 4 because the 3rd was hell on earth. Love my little firecracker, but I wasn't taking a chance on a repeat.[/quote]

My 3rd is a firecracker too but we ended up going for the 4th because I couldn’t kick the feeling that our family was not complete with 3. Fwiw the 4th is so chill and the older ones adore him, but there were no guarantees.

That “feeling” was the main reason I wanted to go for the 4th, plus we moved to a lower COL area with grandparents nearby, and I got a more flexible job, so I felt like we could handle it. Having active and involved grandparents around is a game changer because they spend one on one time with the kids which gives DH and I more individual time with the kids too. We also have wide spacing between the kids, all 3-5 years apart, so that helps give us opportunities for individual activities with each kid too.

I’m really happy with our decision, but I think it really helps that the 4th is so easygoing. [/quote]

If you are relying on grandparents and older kids you aren't really handling it.[/quote]

? That’s like saying a dual career family with daycare or a nanny isn’t really “handling it.”[/quote]

Noce try , but no. PP says she has to have grandparents be extra involved so she and DH can spend individual time with her kids not the same as using a service so you can work to provide for you kids food and shelter.[/quote]

Does the patriarchy pay you extra for shaming women for having an involved extended family?

+1 not sure why having a nanny makes you more worthy as a parent than having your families help out.  Extended families helped women cope with their large families for centuries.  
[/quote][/quote]

You know why extended families mainly female members have done this is because of patriarchy and women having no other purpose but breeding.

Someone has to care for a child daycare, nanny or sahp.

Big difference between that and using family because you have had too many kids that you can't find time to spend with them unless you oaen them off on grandparents[/quote]

-1. NP.  Outsourcing is all the same, whether it's through extended family or paid support.  [/quote]

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