Reply to Help for DW who was abused/neglected as a child and who is struggling parenting?

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Reply to "Help for DW who was abused/neglected as a child and who is struggling parenting?"

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[quote=Anonymous]OP, you may someday find yourself in a situation where the best thing for the family is to separate from your DW. I hope that never happens. But you should keep it in the back of your mind as a possible future and have a plan.  
My mom was great mom in the early years (or so I am told by my older siblings.) She had a college degree and was a SAHM, that house everybody's friends visit after school. My parents divorced when I was 5. As her grip on lucidity began slipping away, she did many things that put us all in danger (one small example would be she took up smoking, would light her cigarettes on the stove and leave the burner on all night.) My Dad tried everything, had to liquidate the house paying for different treatments, and part of the reason for the divorce was so my Mom could get state care. Nothing the doctors could do really worked to bring her back. 
I do not feel attached to my biological Mom. I do not remember most of the wonderful things she did for me when I was little (like teach me to read) and it breaks my father's heart. Visits with her were stressful and even as an adult the prospect of visiting her feels terrifying and overwhelming, coupled with guilt. She would space out, forget who I was, where we were or where we were going. She would start crying, or laughing hysterically, for no reason. I am grateful every day that two of my older siblings who live closer step in to care for her when extra help is needed. 
It may not be what happens for you. Dealing with my mom's health and becoming a single father set back, ok, ruined my father financially. Therapy has come a long long way since those days. But not every patient can be cured. God bless you and all the best.[/quote]

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