Reply to Help for DW who was abused/neglected as a child and who is struggling parenting?

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Reply to "Help for DW who was abused/neglected as a child and who is struggling parenting?"

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[quote=Anonymous]I came from a very abusive and dysfunctional family. My mother is a manic depresive, or bi-polar, or both, along with 2 of my siblings. My parents came from dysfunctional families, dinrking problems, depression...

I watched it all unfold. As a teenager, my mom soiught help and tried medication after medication and diet after diet. It was a complete yo-yo for me day to day, weeke to week. I swore that would not be me. Ever.

Fast forward to my 30s. Married, 2 small kids. And I had become some aspects of my mom that I did not want to be. I did not know how to correct it, went to therapy. I am on Prozac.  That said... I am less responsive to the kids on Prozac. So your wife's medication is what could be making her distant from the kids, or at least contributing to it.

I recognize this, and I try extremely hard to be engaged with my kids.

Look into Cognitive Behavioral Therapy.  Drugs can help manage depression, anxiety, etc.  I'm trying it myself because my goal is to get off Prozac.
http://www.beckinstitute.org/what-is-cognitive-behavioral-therapy/

"Cognitive therapy is based on a cognitive theory of psychopathology. The cognitive model describes how people’s perceptions of, or spontaneous thoughts about, situations influence their emotional, behavioral (and often physiological) reactions. Individuals’ perceptions are often distorted and dysfunctional when they are distressed. They can learn to identify and evaluate their “automatic thoughts” (spontaneously occurring verbal or imaginal cognitions), and to correct their thinking so that it more closely resembles reality. When they do so, their distress usually decreases, they are able to behave more functionally, and (especially in anxiety cases), their physiological arousal abates.

Individuals also learn to identify and modify their distorted beliefs: their basic understanding of themselves, their worlds, and other people. These distorted beliefs influence their processing of information, and give rise to their distorted thoughts. Thus, the cognitive model explains individuals’ emotional, physiological, and behavioral responses as mediated by their perceptions of experience, which are influenced by their beliefs and by their characteristic ways of interacting with the world, as well as by the experiences themselves. "[/quote]

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