Reply to When did divorces start happening in your circle?

Forum Index » Relationship Discussion (non-explicit)

Reply to "When did divorces start happening in your circle?"

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]We've actually had no divorces in our group of ten couples. No one rushed into marriage and we all got married after completing our graduate education.  Interestingly,[b] we all had parents that never divorced.[/b] [/quote]

I've read that if your parents divorced, you have a higher chance of divorce in your own marriage.  Not sure if that claim still stands. [/quote]

I'm not sure but I think it does still stand; I think the explanation I heard is like this:

- if your parent's stayed married, it's likely because they had good emotional intelligence, and were attracted to others like themselves.
- they modelled a healthy relationship for you as a child.
- you were drawn to people like your parents (most of us are) so you are drawn to emotionally intelligent and healthy people - you are repelled from unhealthy people.
- you know how to have a healthy relationship because it's what you grew up watching

This is a positive feedback loop.  For people with FOOs with divorce, the same "positive feedback" loop exists, except it's pointing in the wrong direction.

Divorce is an effect, not a cause.[/quote]

This is ridiculous. Most of my high school friends are still married to bad husbands because it's considered so embarrassing and shameful to divorce where we grew up, in certain NY and southern CT suburbs. Same thing for their mothers - if you want to look at cause-and-effect, start there. [b]If your mother stayed in a bad marriage, she'll probably encourage you to do the same. [/b]This is true of my best friend, who has been married for twenty years to a horrible man.

As my mother always says, "We might all still be married, but that doesn't mean that very many of us are happy!"

[/quote]

This. My mother convinced me to get married in the first place (because she thought I was "too old" even though I really was not certain and wanted to back out; then she convinced me to "stay"--wasted 10 years of my life. It's horrible for people to do that.[/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics