Reply to MIL pissed we didn't acknowledge/remember her wedding anniversary

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[quote=Anonymous][quote]
Respectfully, I think this is short-sighted. I’m a DIL who calls her MIL “mom” because she wanted me to and it was fine with me and my mother. Of course she’s not the mother I grew up with, who can’t be replaced, but the name doesn’t change the bond I have with my mother. Then my mom died and my MIL has treated me just like her daughter, which helps fill the void just a little. When I had a huge health issue, it was my MIL who reacted just as my mother would have by pausing everything in her own life and showing up to help immediately.[/quote]

Well, this does touch on my underlying issue. I was mothered poorly by my own mother, who is mentally ill. So mother relationships are difficult for me. I definitely was not in the market for managing an additional mother relationship. My MIL is a good person, but she's not a good candidate for a mother figure for me. It's all guilt inducing for me.

I think it's healthiest for me to follow the dcum advice to lay all the responsibility on my DH, and I mostly do, but it makes me feel pretty guilty when I know they probably don't understand why I don't pick up the phone and call myself or why I wait forever to answer a text (because I'm waiting for DH to answer it first) and stuff like that. [/quote]

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