Reply to Same Age Cousins

Forum Index » Family Relationships

Reply to "Same Age Cousins "

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote]DP here and I'll say this more gently. When their age difference is counted in days, they count as being the same age. Younger/older doesn't really matter any more for them than it does for twins as [b]it's a technicality rather than a difference great enough to offer any kind of developmental difference at their age[/b]. [b]Two same age kids with different experiences and they are going to be fine - hugs.[/b]
[/quote]

There are so many choices parents have to make along the way and no way to know if any individual one was right/wrong. The OPs questioning BIL/SIL's decision because it makes her question herself on some level. There will be many decisions ahead OP - just trust yourself to make the right choices for your DC and let others do the same. My BIL/SIL/in laws questioned my decision to hold back DC and I grew to resent it. Worked it into conversation pretty much everytime we saw them. Now, due to COVID, spending senior year online and college app deferrals they've decided to have their DC do a gap year. Did we make the "right" choice way back when and they the "wrong" one?  No! We all made the right decision for our DCs at the time. [/quote]

OP here... I’ve had a bit of time to reflect. I do think my sister’s decision makes me question mine some and that’s playing into it. I feel like I can’t truly articulate here without being torn apart here... but I’m not questioning my daughter’s readiness for kindergarten and possibly readiness for (hopefully) public 1st grade next year. Makes me feel like I should just hold her to be the oldest because so many do ... but she was ready for kindergarten in August and is doing really well now. I feel like there’s so much judgement on sending an on time summer kid. So I thought we were in it together and now I’m the crazy one. Except she was ready for kindergarten then and for 1st grade in the fall.[/quote]

Op, don’t second guess your own decision. I have a very good friend and we have two same age children - older kids are born within one month, and second children within 2 months. Our kids our good friends, which had been lovely. However, my friend decided to send their child on time to K this year, and we decided not to send our child early (born within days of the deadline, so the date isn’t meaningful in terms of development). It’s sad to me that our younger kids aren’t in the same grade, as it’s been wonderful having someone to talk through all the school stuff with, and I know it will eventually make it less likely that they will stay friends long-term.

I think it’s also natural to compare (not always in a negative way) kids when you see people make different decisions. As I mentioned, our older kids are also the same age/grade and mine is the one who is less academically advanced and also a bit immature. We are moving DC to private school, not because the school they were at isn’t a great school, but because we think DC would benefit from smaller classes. I see my friend wondering why we are making that decision, as we have talked through my concerns about my child with them many times. I also know our decision to move our child will impact their friendship, which I am sure my friend also realizes.

That being said, I am sure my friend is making the best choices for their children, and I am trying to do the same for mine. I do think repeating a grade is a big deal, but I imagine your sister knows that and has decided it’s best anyway. You should focus on making the best decisions for your daughter, which seems to be advancing her to first grade.[/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics