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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote]DP here and I'll say this more gently. When their age difference is counted in days, they count as being the same age. Younger/older doesn't really matter any more for them than it does for twins as [b]it's a technicality rather than a difference great enough to offer any kind of developmental difference at their age[/b]. [b]Two same age kids with different experiences and they are going to be fine - hugs.[/b]
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There are so many choices parents have to make along the way and no way to know if any individual one was right/wrong. The OPs questioning BIL/SIL's decision because it makes her question herself on some level. There will be many decisions ahead OP - just trust yourself to make the right choices for your DC and let others do the same. My BIL/SIL/in laws questioned my decision to hold back DC and I grew to resent it. Worked it into conversation pretty much everytime we saw them. Now, due to COVID, spending senior year online and college app deferrals they've decided to have their DC do a gap year. Did we make the "right" choice way back when and they the "wrong" one?  No! We all made the right decision for our DCs at the time. [/quote]

OP here... I’ve had a bit of time to reflect. I do think my sister’s decision makes me question mine some and that’s playing into it. I feel like I can’t truly articulate here without being torn apart here... but I’m not questioning my daughter’s readiness for kindergarten and possibly readiness for (hopefully) public 1st grade next year. Makes me feel like I should just hold her to be the oldest because so many do ... but she was ready for kindergarten in August and is doing really well now. I feel like there’s so much judgement on sending an on time summer kid. So I thought we were in it together and now I’m the crazy one. Except she was ready for kindergarten then and for 1st grade in the fall.[/quote]

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