Reply to My kid told me I’m a “sh***y mom”

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP, sending you hope and sympathy.

You sound unhappy and overwhelmed. For me part of breaking out of that cycle in all parts of my life was learning about healthy boundaries and how to enforce them. You will feel better when you can tell other people what you need and when you can stand your ground on issues that are important to you. There’s a lot of self help out there, but few great alternatives to going to therapy and doing the work.

A lot of the “flowery,” cheerful moms have more space in their lives to nurture in that way. It’s easier to be warm and creative when your emotional needs are met and when labor feels fairly divided in a household.[/quote]

Fair, but the OP is going/has gone through some extremely rough stuff.  A child with cancer and another with significant special needs is really a lot, i.e., goes beyond fair division of labor in a household.  The OP needs help ASAP.  I'm hugely supportive of therapy (have done it myself), but "doing the work," if you *really* do the work, takes a long time.  So, fine, go to therapy, but *also* throw money at things now, get support for your child, etc.

Also, FWIW, the vast majority of the happiest, most functional moms I know have substantial extended family support in the form of money or childcare/hands-on help or both.  They have not only practical help, but a safety net.  Without that, it's much harder.  Not impossible, but hard in a way that people who do have that support often really can't fathom.[/quote]

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