Reply to Inheritance/gift to child and spouse or just child?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I really don't understand the logic of how an inheritance is different than any other income coming into the household if you already have a joint account in your marriage? Of course I wouldn't expect my in laws to gift me any inheritance obviously. But I wouldn't expect my husband to tell me I don't get any of it that's pretty shitty to do to the person you made vows to. If we are already sharing both of our incomes why is this any different? When we made our vows [b]our vows included becoming one[/b] and forsaking all others.

The same would go for me too for my inheritance my parents are giving me. It wouldn't even be a question it would go towards the household. [b]If my husband ever told me nope my inheritance is just for me to spend it however I like screw you we would be having some serious conversations about what being a team in a marriage looks like and I would be extremely hurt. Also with the logic of well an inheritance is a gift isn't a bonus from work a gift as well?[/b][/quote]

Our vows did not include "becoming one."  We are a team, but we are each an individual.

There is a spectrum between "nope, it's just for me" and mixing an inheritance with the household income.  My inheritance, for example, is invested in mutual funds in my sole name.  It's for our children's future, unless we have some need for it before then.  If we were suffering as a result of me not comingling it, I would consider spending it on our family, but otherwise I will not do that.

An inheritance is nothing like a bonus from work.  I *work* for my bonuses and they go into the pot of household income (or to savings; we jointly determine how we will use or save them).  On the other hand, I did not work for the money my mother left me.  It was a gift from her, the result of her many years of hard work and savings.  She made the  choice to forgo certain luxuries in order to leave her children some money.  It has a lot of emotional meaning for me in ways that work bonuses never will.
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