Reply to Why do men assume their wife will become a SAHM?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Literally have never heard a woman becoming full time SAHM in the DC area after kids.[/quote]

Really, I know several. A few of them have some kind of income, like they sub at their kids school sometimes or have a hobby they make money from sometimes. But not making real money, maybe just enough to put in a savings account for a rainy day or to be able to go on nicer vacations.

I agree it's not the norm because the cost of living is high here, but I know people in many different living situations. Many two-income families with jobs outside the home (well, normally) but also many other set ups including where one partner works from home with their own business or where one spouse takes on periodic contract work but can stay home with kids during the summer, etc. I don't get this thing where people only know two-income families. I think it must be people who only socialize with people they work with. If you know your neighbors or get to know other families at school, you'll find a lot more variety than that.[/quote]

I know several especially among military and foreign service wives[/quote]

Almost every single family in my neighborhood is dual income with kids. It probably just depends on your social class. I can see either really low income wives (somebody said military or substitute teaching) or wives with REALLY high income husbands (like > 400k) quitting their jobs. But in my neighborhood, where the average individual earns $150k, I think it's probably the sweet spot where halving your income does not in any way make up for saved daycare or other expenses, and where it's just too much of a sacrifice long term for the woman to stay home. On the flipside, having just one 150k income is not really enough in the DC area.[/quote]

Again, I think you just don't know enough people. Most of our friends are in Capitol Hill and Brookland, which I sense is the kind of neighborhood you are describing. And (1) we absolutely know families where one partner makes around 150K and the other is SAH or has a much lower paying job -- you don't absolutely need 300K to survive in DC, and (2) we know many, many families where one spouse stayed home for 1-4 years to be with their kids when they were small. Yes they went back to work, but they were SAH for a time. So in any given neighborhood, it is common for different families to have a SAHP (usually a mom) at any given time.

Also we know a decent number of families where one partner makes 250k or more. Some are still two-income (probably most) because both partners want to work. But some are not.

The idea that everyone works, that everyone has kids mid-career (as opposed to during grad school or between switching career paths), that everyone has a lifestyle that requires at least 300k -- all of that is incredibly limited. Meet more people, if you want to weigh in on this issue. The response "no one I know has this problem" is ignorant.[/quote]

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