Reply to If Affair was in the past, do you disclose?

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Reply to "If Affair was in the past, do you disclose?"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I am the betrayed spouse ten months after disclosure.  Absolutely should tell.  It requires deep therapy for you to understand why you did it or you could do it again plus spouse absolutely deserves to know.  Therapist could likely help you. [/quote]

Individual therapy could help you understand your behavior, its origins, what you truly want, and how to go forward in a relationship of honesty. I completely understand that the spouse is the victim, and he will be justifiably angry. I understand why anger at the cheater extends to the idea of self-help. How can the cure for self-indulgent behavior be more self-indulgence? We either believe or don't believe that there's hope that a person could change. If there's hope, change has to start with fixing yourself with support. "Just stop" is the start and end of the advice of those who believe that a person who cheats will always return to cheating, an alcoholic will always return to drinking, an addict will always return to using. [/quote]

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